I go to LinkedIn to message old colleagues whose other contacts I lost, and the thing that baffles me is the thing where people describe things in this weirdly epic slop style.

"We were doing X. But then we suddenly found that Y. This is where frobling the wjoozies finally made sense. As a Long time warbler, I can tell you need to..."

Who do they write it for? What value to they get from writing it?

(Not everyone writes like this, luckily).