All programming languages are useless

Embrace Chandler's Maxim : 90% of everything is crap. Move on and make your own decisions.

So go learn something. Either you listen to advice or you don't.

Joshua, you listed three programming languages, out of the thousands upon thousands that exist.

Two of the ones you listed, PHP and JavaScript, are indeed among the worst mainstream programming languages used today. It's not surprising that they bring numerous problems to the table. They are mistakes that just happened to get popular, making it appear as though they're better than they actually are.

Ruby isn't as bad of a language as PHP or JavaScript are, but it does have performance issues, and the community can be quite toxic at times.

While no language is perfect, there are ones out there that would be much more pleasant to learn than PHP, JavaScript and Ruby. If practicality is a concern, look at Python, Go or C#. You can easily get real work done using any one of them.

If you're looking for languages that are clean and consistent, try Scheme or Erlang.

If you want to subject yourself to many new concepts, look into C++, Scala, Haskell or Perl.