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And yet GCC and MSVC both refuse to break ABI and have done so for over a decade.

MSVC used to break library ABI pretty much on every release. They stopped after overwhelming customer demand.

Some of us have been writing code for quite a bit longer than that.

The 2000's and C++ were a clusterfuck largely for this very reason.

I’ve been writing c++ since before then too. A lot has changed in the world, notably package managers are actually used with c++ these days.