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Comment by jusssi | Hacker News Reader

Potential confusion of cause and effect: maybe some weren't given any freedom because they were repeatedly unable to self-regulate.

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It is a common tactic among abusive parents to convince their child without them, they'd be unable to survive in the wider world. Any mistakes will become irrefutable proof thereof, and any attempts to break this control and do things on their own will be treated as ingratitude, often prompting the abuser to instantly abandon all parental duties to "teach a lesson".

Uh huh. And some kids haven't got their head straight after puberty at 16, and still need (or would have needed) the training wheels. Blaming it on their parents would seem unfair.

Society works on averages. Most people being ready little adults at 16 doesn't mean everyone is.

Edit: yeah, look at the downvotes. How are you all doing with that self-regulation?

> And some kids haven't got their head straight after puberty at 16, and still need (or would have needed) the training wheels.

But on average they don't.

> Society works on averages.

Right. So setting the rules around the outliers is wrong. Glad you're clear on that.

> Most people being ready little adults at 16 doesn't mean everyone is.

You don't have to be a completely self-sufficient adult to handle the freaking Internet.

I feel like I'm in a comedy show where I'm the only one who actually reads what others are writing.

There's no evidence in this response or others that you're reading what other people are writing.

I don't disagree, but in this context I don't think those are the same parents that are yeeting their kids off to board at university as soon as they are of age.

Sometimes the kids basically run away to universities as soon as they're of age.

As one of those kids, you could’ve just stopped at “I don’t think”, because you’re not thinking critically if you think we don’t exist.

I wasn’t allowed to have a personal device or unsupervised internet access until I graduated.

My parents forced me to go to a school with a summer work program. I was yeeted to university by my wing clipping abusers THREE DAYS AFTER GRADUATION.

Rural, miles from the nearest town of 1200 so I didn’t have access to the resources needed to change any aspect of this.

I was deeply hampered by this, and despite being one of the salutatorians of my graduating class (we had ties due to AP), I crashed out of that university after a semester.

It's not an innate ability. Takes a solid decade of actual parenting for people to acquire this skill.

And if the person is high energy, then that energy needs to be channeled.

Then it's a questionable move to one day hand them _all_ the responsibility they had previously lacked.

You can also ask if the rate of this occurrence is increasing or decreasing.

if they are unable to self-regulate, then jailing them at home and school is definitely not a solution for that.

I think you're responding to an argument I didn't make. And I feel necessary to point it out because it looks like other people may be reading it like that, too.

I read it in the same way. What did you mean instead?

I mean what I wrote, nothing more.

(a) Quote from TFA is about using internet. GP talks about "didn’t have any freedom or autonomy" which I don't take quite as literally as you do, because they also mention "I saw this a lot in college". So it would have been quite regular level of (over)controlling, instead of locking them in and not letting them leave the house except for school.

(b) I am not advocating anything as a solution. I am pointing out that the simple cause and effect presented by GP might be more complicated.

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