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Comment by mettamage | Hacker News Reader

> Self-help is dangerous precisely because it easily becomes self-fixation.

In my self-help journey I came across meditation which ultimately led me to altruistic-based practices. So can't relate.

> A focus on improving the self usually first requires finding problems with the self

Oh I got in there the other way around. I wanted a few things out of life socially speaking but society was blocking me somehow. So I went out to investigate why that is and then studied it all and then solved my own problem. In order to do that, I had to improve myself as I wasn't connecting well with the world. I'm much happier with how I do that nowadays.

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There's a lot of "I"s in your paragraph there.

I think it's worth it to be ok with everyone being a little bit in the same boat of wanting to self-help, then becoming enamored with buddhist ideas, then grappling with everyday being just another human. In whatever order.

I'm sure you mean well but just kinda irked me that you immediately put in the effort to "nope can't relate"

I think that hearing other points of view is important.

I see time and time again that posts insinuate that there's no other point of view, and I think that highlighting one perspective is enough to show that this (as in the article) isn't some mathematically perfect piece of advice.

This is my intention, thanks. It's also not to say that my opinion is perfect either, it isn't.

> I'm sure you mean well but just kinda irked me that you immediately put in the effort to "nope can't relate"

In part that's because I see the message of the post way too often and I haven't seen my message around that much. It's just to counterbalance it. I don't think the message of the post is wrong per se, but to me it comes across as such a strong statement of "this is how it is" that I want to say equally strong back (as one vote of the general public) "nope, can't relate, here is briefly why"

If someone makes generic statements that apply to all, it is 100% ok to answer with I cant relate.

Frankly, even superior. Too many people frame own feelings and individual experiences and general universal or even rational truths.

I get that but it's also why i'm calling it out. it does come off as superior!

and then goes on to superior-ily talk about selflessness.

It is superion in the sense that it is more honest.

When you frame "talking about own feeling and experiences as arrogamt, because it does not pretend generality, you are being wrong. Nothing in what I said implies superiority complex or arrogance.

And frankly, your twist is fairly manipulative sleazy bullshit.

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