I had a long string of Windows laptops that were basically OK from maybe 2013 to 2023 except for problems with USB that got progressively worse over time (for each machine.) I think some of them were were real hardware problems but I think also the USB 3 spec doesn't guarantee that you can plug in very many devices and have it work, it depends on the PCIe architecture inside the machine. That "ding" sound when a USB device disconnects from windows has traumatized me and I've turned it off anywhere where I can because it is like a gunshot to a Vietnam vet.
I found very little literature about other Windows laptops users facing these problems but endless posts by AppleCare frequent fliers who seem to spend their lives at the Genius Bar and getting their old defective laptops replaced with new defective laptops, I think Windows users just expect it to be all screwed up.
For a long time Windows has struggled with processes that suck down a lot of resources at boot time. At home it is things that do software updates and saturate my 2x20Mbps internet connection. At work it is the backup program that saturates my Ethernet.
That cycle repeated itself either two or three more times, up to today, and my current laptop is I think going to be the one that finally last long enough that I'll have to actually pay for my next upgrade.
In roughly the last decade, I've had motherboards fail on me, drives fail on me, PSU fans have issues with the bearings (rattle even when it works), front USB headers not working, SATA SSDs overheat and fry themselves, HDDs fail, separate USB ports get fried, overheating issues, multi-GPU issues (that one's on me, OSes struggle with supporting those), sometimes systems even having bad performance like back when I had a Ryzen 5 4500 and Intel Arc A580 where games would run with low 1% lows BUT nothing would show up as the bottleneck in any monitoring program ever, I've had Windows bootloader freak out across updates, sometimes updates in the OS render themselves not installable for months, sometimes graphics drivers (AMD and Intel) having issues, especially with VR and so much more stuff.
I like to think that I have particularly bad luck and not high enough quality parts and sometimes just pretty jank setups due to the state of my wallet. I've also had laptops fall apart and phone batteries turn into pillows, so go figure. Also regular Debian/Ubuntu updates sometimes bringing down my homelab servers that also run on consumer hardware, so maybe it's definitely got something to do with a lack of luck.
Less so with higher quality parts and machines, like most of the ThinkPads I've owned have been pretty good and my current M1 MacBook Air is still okay (really good note taking machine for being on the move) and same for my iPhone SE, despite the OSes feeling kinda odd. Doesn't really condemn any individual setup in my eyes - as far as I'm concerned, they all suck to some degree and everything that can go wrong sooner or later will, that's just the way it is.
That said, I welcome more (relatively) affordable hardware with decent build quality - ofc running Linux distros or whatever else one desires on them would be nice too, as would more repairability.
My wife browses the web a lot on that Mac, she hasn't complained since I installed Firefox + uBlock Origin but maybe she expects it to be slow.
I had a Mac Studio that would kernel panic on a semi-weekly basis. Apple Care put me through the reinstall OS / remove all external devices tap-dance for weeks, insisting that hardware was the last thing to suspect - before Apple Silicon, kernel panics were almost always hardware, particularly RAM.
Ultimately I bought another Studio and swapped it in - kernel panics went away. With that evidence, Apple acknowledged the problem and exchanged my Studio for another one from the factory. I returned the swap unit within the 30 day window, so it didn't cost me anything but annoyance.
* My MacMini was constantly beachballing and, unfortunately, it took me a long time to realize that there was a problem with the device.
* I now have a 2023 MBP that screams like a "Formula Un" racing car.
I suspect you have a faulty device.
edit: Just saw that you live far away from an Apple store. I imagine you could mail it in for some type of service, but obviously, that's not optimal if you have no immediate replacement.
kextstat | grep -v com.apple
would show anything _maybe_ troublesome, but not guaranteed related.
I think you might have a bad one. See if support will do anything for you this is not normal.
The feeling is exactly like the way it was with Windows circa 2005 when you expected your machine to go bad like cheese in a few months.
Also airpods move instantly here. No issues.
Backup, reset to factory. Try using it, if it’s fixed, try restoring. If it’s not fixed it’s defective in some way.
If it’s broken only after you restore, manually import your data and install apps one at a time making sure nothing breaks before installing the next.