Hacker News Reader

Comment by Tade0 | Hacker News Reader

> They're saying what they actually think and wearing what they actually like, pursuing hobbies that genuinely fascinate them, regardless of whether those hobbies are cool.

Joke's on you, OP - even being like that you'll still find people who think you're boring because it's subjective.

Truth is, once youth passes, over time people become increasingly disinterested in others. This effect was exacerbated by the recent pandemic.

You might be a genuinely fascinating and authentic person, yet all that is going to fall flat in a crowd whose reaction to going outside is "ugh, people".

What really works is showing genuine interest in others. It's such a rare thing in this day and age that many are surprised when they experience it.

View on HN

> Truth is, once youth passes, over time people become increasingly disinterested in others.

I find almost exactly the opposite is true. As you age your perceived value lessens, while you find the nuances of human behaviour ever more fascinating. Meanwhile many of the current cohort of twenty somethings seem disinterested in everything, including one another.

I would extend that to thirty somethings, so my generation as well.

Over time most of the people this age in my extended social circle kind of... faded. I don't know what caused this but I find myself increasingly socialising with younger people because they still haven't retreated to the comfort of their "me time" activities.

In the US, I think that not doing the boring thing, which is spending time during 20s working or studying for a handful of career paths, climbing up the career ladder, saving up for downpayment for land in the richer areas of a handful of expensive cities, etc comes with huge costs.

The cost is that when you are 40 and you either have stable finances such that you can provide your kids with an acceptable amount of healthcare and education and housing stability, and you will be able to retire, or you get to 40 and you have to start sacrificing the goal of raising kids within the aforementioned parameters.

Maybe that is how it always was, it just wasn't a "known" thing so people didn't incorporate it into the decision making when they were 20.

"... over time people become increasingly disinterested in others."

The average person perhaps. I find as I get older that people become more fascinating to me. Maybe I've just gotten better at listening and identifying interesting things about them.

Would agree wholeheartedly with this. Once you drill down into a person, you will eventually find an aspect of them that approaches life in a way you do not, and in a way which increases your appreciation for the depth of human experience if you listen closely enough. The signals the author are clued in on here are superficial to me. Idiosyncratic consumptions, a controversial political take or two? Sure, those can tickle one's curiosity, but they are only entrances to possible points of uniqueness and can be easily faked. Obviously you can't know everyone, nor should you want to, so these are just proxies the author uses to find people they want to spend their limited time with rather than in my opinion actual "not-boring" people.

“Ugh people” - see I found my people! You don’t happen to be in Philly?

No, but you're already the second person to ask this, meaning I now have to see this place.

I'm not American, but I was meaning to visit Altoona, PA as, according to one person living there, it was "the most average town in US". Unfortunately Luigi Mangione put it on the map, so it most certainly lost that title by now.

> over time people become increasingly disinterested in others

I think it is smartphones.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com