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"I think the secret question behind a lot of this sentiment is: do you want to still be burning yourself out at 50? Do you want to still be working 60+ hour weeks? Do you want to still be on call 24/7? Do you want to still spend part of every release cycle in a pitiless death march?"

Do you want to be doing those things when you're 30?

25?

20?

Maybe there's a better way...?

Your post causes me to reflect on how good I've had it. I've been programming for 33 years. I've been on call 24/7 occasionally, but I can only recall a few days of that here and there. I've worked a 60+ hour work week maybe 2-3 times, but I doubt 3. I did do a 30 hour weekend awhile back, while with a startup. It was fun. I do recall one pitiless death march, and still have some bad thoughts about that episode, but overall, I never worked in places that operated as you describe, nor would I. I've tried to find something else I like more than programming, but haven't yet. And now I'm doing iOS development, leveraging Pulse and CouchDb, and doing some client-side data binding in the browser with knockout.js. There has never been a better time to be a programmer, IMO, with all the leverage the internet and open source gives us, so why stop now?

Hmm...

Because, oddly enough, I have been in the industry a long time, I happen to know that's wrong.

The "all the bullshit" of the industry is not a product of the immaturity of the industry. Because it had gotten worse. In each of my five-ten year job search cycles, I have observed more companies with more of the problems you describe (60+ hour work weeks, 24/7 on call, psychological pressure for death marches, etc). Each time, consistently more insanity.

Not sure exactly what to do myself or in general but I'm pretty sure we can't chalk this up to an immature industry.

Agreed. The bullshit is definitely getting turned up in my chosen sector, which in general is start-ups and other, smaller companies. Lately a trend I've come to notice is that more and more companies in their job adverts are asking for, if not insisting on, potential candidates having evidence of public, hacking side-projects. They want github repos, they want active coding blogs, both of which imply that not only should you be spending 50-60 hours a week working for a flat salary, but you should also spend the remaining time doing nothing but thinking about, hacking in, and writing about software! It's can't think of another field where, if you don't spend every waking minute practicing your profession, you're not worthy of consideration for employment. I'm not sure if larger companies have this mindset or not, but it does seem to be a trend that's on the rise so maybe someday they will have it.

I really do wonder what these hiring managers asking for these things could possibly be thinking. After all, don't I need some time in my week to eat, cook, clean and go to the bathroom?

I've yet to hear about an industry from one of it's members that isn't full of bullshit. They all are. Seriously.

Firefighting has never ended, continues to happen then why do you consider 30 years down the lane situation is going to be any different.

Besides you don't want to fire fighting with software, But you are OK with firefighting with life? Especially when you are 50?