While I get what you're going for, unfortunately, the pronunciation of Wear means it doesn't work. The correct pronunciation is more like Whee-ah (sounds a little bit like wheel) as opposed to sounding like "where" ;-)
Still works, just Aussie
The vowel/diphthong in wear (as in wearing a towel, rhymes with “care”, “there”) and Wear (homophone with weir, rhymes with “steer”, “near”) are not the same in Australian English.
I guess that's why it's called comedy.
I was thinking Boston could pull it off.
Near enough for a dad joke, and works perfectly visually (a bit like "there are 10 types of people - those who know binary and those who do not"). In fact I find your lack of appreciation of the humour a bit wearing, not to say wear-ed.
"Correct" is doing a lot of work there. Dialects are a thing. I have never heard anyone pronounce it like whee-ah. They would get a lot of chuckles here where it's pronounced the same as where.
Whee-ah is a little emphasis away from sounding like a donkey.
It’s not a dialect thing, the river is literally called “River Wear” irrespective of your accent or dialect. Plymouth (Plih Muth) and Tynemouth (Tyne Mouth) are pronounced completely differently and I don’t call Plymouth “Ply Mouth” just because I live near Tynemouth.