Penisgate erupts at Olympics; scandal exposes risks of bulking your bulge

> A 2025 simulation-based study published in the journal Frontiers in Sports and Active Living suggested that every 2 cm of extra fabric in a ski jumpsuit could increase drag by about 4 percent and increase lift by about 5 percent. On a jump, that extra 2 cm of fabric amounts to an extra 5.8 meters, the simulations found.

This sounds... highly implausible.

So, 20cm of extra ski fabric could get them 50% extra lift...?

Yeah, that "every 2cm" is doing some heavy, heavy lifting. Like, Olympic sized lifting with dick fillers. :)

That was my reaction too, the entire story just sounds completely ridiculous. Did it first come up on Fox and Friends?

This seems like a pretty easy thing to fix for the future. Make the standard in all suits such that all genitalia would fit without a problem. Just give everybody that advantage of a mini sail and let the records all come with an asterisk.

Dear god. I'm not sure if I really wanted to know this.

Warning: The article starts out funny, but contains some pretty graphic descriptions of medical complications towards the end.

Can't they just subject male climbers to randomized testing?