A man stops by a kiosk selling snacks and such. There's a newspaper stand and the man browses for a moment, sighs, and begins walking away.

The man running the kiosk asks "Is there something wrong with the paper?"

"No, I'm just looking for an obituary"

The man at the kiosk lets out a laugh. "Well, sir, you aren't going to find the obituaries on the front page."

"The one I'm looking for will be on the front page."