I realize it's a distinction without a difference in this case, but the reason that guideline says "Don't be curmudgeonly" as opposed to "Don't be a curmudgeon" is precisely to avoid giving the impression of labeling the person themselves. It's a transient quality that anyone can have. But I get that it didn't land that way and I'm sorry.

Actually you put it quite nicely when you say: "No one can "be" those things since that implies an identity" - I quite agree, and that's exactly what that guideline was trying (but evidently failing) to avoid. To my ear it sounds analogous to the "Don't be snarky" guideline. If I say I was "being" snarky at a certain moment (or impatient or rude or what have you), it doesn't follow that I "am" a snarky (etc.) person. That's how I meant it anyhow - I hear your point and do not mean to persuade you out of it.

The Adderall comment was the worst bit, but 'You think too fast and have too many ideas pouring out of your "speed of thought" brain' was also crossing into personal attack, and so were the last two sentences comparing the other person to a child that failed to grow up. The trouble is that these sorts of swipes accrue like mercury in the bloodstream and the ecosystem can only handle so much.