If you're expecting a non-passive response from these ancestors, I'm afraid the whole endeavour is a total waste of time and energy. See definition of dead for details.
The idea that proxy baptism for the dead has any effect is predicated on the belief that there is an afterlife and that the individual has the ability to accept or reject the ordinance.
We are objects, after all, and death returns us to an inanimate state.
My point is that the dead are dead, no matter what anyone of any belief chooses to think. Just because a group of people think or believe something doesn't actually make it so.
As far as you're away, the dead are dead, unless you have absolutely solved that.
I mean at a certain point doesn't this just turn into grown adults playing pretend?
In Mormon (& indeed, most Judeo-Christian-Islamic belief), the state of dead might be defined as "Transferred to different plane of existence, still a cogitating being".