You put it perfectly, and I have the exact same experience. If the likes of AWS, Microsoft and Google weren't super eager to partner with the likes of Palantir from day one, the latter would never have gotten off of the ground.
> When I brought this up last time in [0] all I saw was constant hairsplitting, attempts to seperate Big Tech from Palantir and lots of 'whataboutism' accusations
Another one I often see is the "but Peter Thiel" (as in a reply to my initial comment, but also in the threads you're talking about), as if other big tech CEOs such as Bezos and Zuckerberg have even one extra moral fiber in their body that puts them in a notably different category.
Do you happen to have a (semi-)public presence anywhere? It's hard to find people who understand this and are honest about it, and inherently harder than simply joining one of the bigger tribes, whether it's the HN "other big tech isn't nearly as bad" one, or the shoulder-shrugging crowd.