No, it's really true. The right place is Jersey City near one of the PATH subway stations, particularly Journal Square. That really is under 30 minutes from either the downtown or midtown commercial areas of Manhattan, and hardly ghetto at all. Other options are Union City or North Bergen along one of the many bus lines into Manhattan 42nd street. Or Hoboken a bit more upscale but still significantly cheaper than Manhattan.
I've lived in these areas of New Jersey and commuted to Manhattan for my entire professional life. It really is the best solution for a Manhattan commute. You don't need a car if within PATH subway range. Weekend access to NY is still just as easy. Grocery stores abound, both big chain and ethnic speciality. NJ sales tax is a bit less than NY, and you dodge the NYC income tax.
It's unclear if you meant you actually lived in NJ yourself. Did you, and where and what commute?