My manager started a couple months before myself, and a colleague started a couple months later. We still work together all our anniversaries in a line.
My manager got his plaque and showed it off. I patiently awaited mine.
When my 10 year anniversary came around we were in the middle of being acquired. It seemingly got lost in the fuss. My anniversary came and went. Zero acknowledgement beyond an automated email and some points towards the company store. No plaque.
When my colleague's 10 year anniversary came around a few months later and he got an even nicer plaque than my manager AND a small celebration...
I'm not one to usually express anger or disappointment, but I got salty and maybe said some things I shouldn't have. I'm frankly still salty and it's five years later.
I feel a little childish but I just wanted a plaque. I waited ten years for my plaque. My wife had offered to make me one.
My fifteen year anniversary is coming in a few months. We'll see if anything comes of it.
The little things are more important than they seem.
I was the second person to not get a plaque after they stopped the 10-years at work. Instead I got an email.
I knew one of the last people to get one, so was expecting mine two weeks later.
And I knew Sarah, who started a week before me, and had printed out her 10-year email and a picture of the clock. I found mine at a thrift store. When I left I set it on her desk on the way out. Hope she liked it.
In your experience it’s not just the manager direct report relationship that’s adversarial, it’s you against the whole company for the mismatched value they place in you.
You should use that as leverage. This comes with an mindset of looking out for yourself and not any loyalty to the company (I really wish that we could all find companies loyal and nice to their employees, in reality they are few and far between).
Something along the lines of “Hey I built our product. We’re making X in profit. I deserve Y in comp. I’ll give you a week to decide. If you reject I quit and build my own product or join another company.” Obviously add some fluff to reduce harshness.