For me it's not pixels in total, but pixels per inch. Why? Because like on a larger desk I can put more stuff, on a larger screen I can do the same.
And yes, 96 or maybe even 72 dpi is pretty much enough.
And yes, I love large screens: a 43-inch 4k monitor displays lets me see a few pages of docs, three+ code files at the same time, and have a place for a chat with a colleague or friend at the same time.
Would I buy a smaller 4k monitor? Nah, no way.
Would I play games/watch movies in 4k? Nah, I most of the time play in a window, or on a second 19 inch 5:4 monitor because the screen is too large.
And yes, I'm very sad because of lack of laptop options with reasonable screen resolution, yet high end hardware.
And yes, for a small screen I pick lower resolution whenever I can.