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Making Yourself a CEO

bhorowitz.com

221 pointsFilterJoe33 comments

This reminds me of the first time I fired someone. I spent probably a week mentally planning how to do it--thought about how the conversation would go in the car, in the shower, before I went to sleep. The guy had a wife and kids and I was getting ready to put him in the unemployment line. I felt especially guilty because he shouldn't have been hired in the first place; we were desperate at the time. That was a mistake I made against my better judgment.

When it came time to actually have the conversation at one point he stopped me (I was busy trying to soften the blow) and said, "This sucks, but I get it. I understand." And I realized that I had prepared him for that point for months and that what was coming wasn't ultimately that much of a surprise.

Since then I've resolved to just be straight with feedback. For most firing situations, it's simply because it's not a good fit. Being able to look forward to a better situation in a couple months is enough to make most people accept the decision.

I will always be thankful to a former boss of mine, who took the lead on firing a developer that just wasn't up to scratch, and asked me to be present when it happened.

He kept it very, very short- the rationale being that if someone is expecting it, then they know the reasons why. If they aren't expecting it, then the shock means they're unlikely to listen to anything else you tell them anyway.

If they want feedback at a later point, great. But in that moment, it's easier on both of you to just get it done.

Reminds me of the advice I sought on my first time firing someone. "Don't make it bitch fest'. Just lay it out and that's it. At this point, only give feedback if they ask for it."

It really framed my thinking for management in general and this post is fantastic for shoring up the rest of it.

Your post reminded me of another one exactly like it (down to the last paragraph) on here about a year ago, except at the end the guy getting fired kills himself later that day, and the next day his wife calls you to let you know.

Are these real CEOs or idealized CEOs? I've worked for CEOs who were horrible people and yet extremely successful (ie: running profitable businesses and having repeat success).

Sadly, the nice CEOs I've had were failures building companies.

From my observation, the quality that defines a CEO is that they are oblivious to their own faults and the feelings of others.

They are like bad dancers with confidence. They have no idea they look like an idiot or that they're making you uncomfortable, and if they did, they wouldn't care.

The thought of a couple of chubby assholes in suits I've known over the years doing ballet badly is immensely pleasing.

>They have no idea they look like an idiot or that they're making you uncomfortable, and if they did, they wouldn't care.

Oh man, that'd mean I'd make a great CEO if I could learn to stop caring! All these years, trying to figure out how not to look awkward -- wasted!

I don't think it's that CEOs must be "bad people" (for want of a better description) to succeed.

I think it's more than CEOs have to be able to upset people to get the result they want. It also helps if that result is beneficial to themselves or the company.

The best book I have read [out of probably 100+] on management is "The Effective Executive" by Drucker.

The book is pretty thin and was written mid-last century but still holds it's value versus all else we have now.

In addition to providing a framework and mindset on how to become an effective executive, the book also explains why/how it's possible to have shitty people be great CEOs and vice versa - because being effective has nothing to do with personal qualities [nice, kind, mean, etc].

I recommend reading this book to anyone who would like to become a better executive or who would like to better understand the other side of truth.

Related to the shit sandwich, one other thing I always liked @ ldcl/opsw was making sure there was constructive criticism during the performance reviews. While it was great that reviews were 90+% "You're awesome and I want to bear your children", having something to work on presented during those times always stuck with me. It definitely helped me develop (for example) way better time management skills (a weakness when i started there).

If you start a business and have majority ownership you can always be CEO, but CEO's not for everyone. You can most definitely read books on leadership, charisma, networking, etc, and go act out the role for a while if you're motivated enough. However if you're really a private-type technical person at heart, amazingly once you can afford to hire someone else to do that job (without losing your majority status) you may suddenly find that you don't want it anymore. If that's the case it will probably be better for your company too. Some engineers make great CEO's of course.

Sage advice not just for CEOs but for anyone leading a team. Direct, constructive feedback is a great way to encourage open communication. Give early, give often.

I recently joined a team where the leader is very good about giving honest, no-BS feedback while being polite and respectful. It rubs off on everyone on the team. It might seem like a subtle difference, but this improves everyone's attitudes vs. those with a less-experienced leader. Having a team in which each member can give/receive feedback well makes the group experience _much_ better.

I liked his last sentence "This is how you get made" as it seems to simultaneously allude to the concept of "Made Men" in the American Mafia and to Horowitz's penchant for putting quotes from gangsta rap in his blog posts :-)

You mean "Made Women"?

"Don’t clown people in front of their peers."

Okay, I gotta know: how did that strange typo-- down/clown-- get in there? That seems like a scanning error, not typing error.

Edit: Oops, I learned a new verb. Thanks!

What makes you think it's a typo?

From (of all places) Urban Dictionary:

  clown: To laugh, make fun of, or find joy in a 
  person or event. Almost always used in a derogatory 
  or degrading fashion.

Not a typo -- lingo from hip hop. B. Horowitz is a big hip hop fan. He invests in Rap Genius.

On a related note, I think "Birthday Song" was included at the top of the post because it tries to hide nothing. The lyrics are honest & straightforward much like how he argues feedback should be.

While the "shit sandwich" tactic mentioned in this article is definitely a negative experience, I feel that in some cases it's better than coming out of the corner throwing full punches. If nothing else, it implies that one is at least trying to follow the broad advice in this article and avoid making issues into ad hominem attacks, even if the actual method used is flawed. Great article overall.

Really valuable article. As a junior employee I find I'm treading a fine line trying to practice these values, especially when the 'culture' isn't always trickling down. I'd enjoy reading more about this stuff from that perspective, which I suppose falls into the category of 'managing your manager'?

Feedback is a dialogue, not a monologue

You may be the CEO and you may be telling somebody about something that you don’t like or disagree with, but that doesn’t mean that you’re right. Your employee should know more about her function than you. She should have more data than you. You may be wrong.

-- This is a process

Well done Ben - I'd also add that CEO's are really good listeners. Conversations should always be 60/40 the majority being with the opposite party of the CEO.

I think the author meant "leader" when he wrote "CEO". CEO is a broader term that englobes many other aspects apart from leadership only.

Leader is for me the correct definition of the title.

How are the skills he's describing any different from being a parent or a teacher?

First part of the post is a song about wanting a big booty ho. :-/

BH really loves that boxing reference.

Come on Mr. Horowitz, quoting 2 Chainz in an intellectual article?! :D

"More senior executives will recognize the shit sandwich immediately and it will have an instant negative effect."

Why would it have a negative effect? Even when you realize people are just being polite, most people still appreciate it, no?

Senior employees want to take action, solve problems and get on with things. Sugar coating it is wasting both people's time essentially. At least that's my understanding from the context and my personal experience.

The shit sandwich is a tool used because you feel the person isn't capable of handling direct criticism.

When using the shit sandwich on a senior report, you are implicitly stating that you don't believe they can handle direct criticism.

I'm not in a senior position and I HATE getting the shit sandwich, it's irritating and insulting. Most of my coworkers (in various positions of seniority) also hate it.

I wouldn't use it period, unless you know for certain the specific person cannot handle criticism.

The opening lyric is a little confusing. "She got a big booty so I call her Big Booty." CEO's aren't necessarily good leaders; that's not why they're the leader. CEO's are the founders. Find a better lyric, maybe? Right?

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