Ask HN: What/How should you talk when you meet co founders? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: What/How should you talk when you meet co founders?

Probably this is a pretty naive question, but it is genuine.

I am myself an aspiring startupper(23, to start in a month or two). I have worked at startups and learnt the tech stuff well working hard. But I am an introvert and suck at negotiating with people and building contacts. Resultingly, I barely know people and vice versa.

I have scheduled an appointment with three budding and almost successful entrepreneurs nearby. What should the meeting be about? What should I talk to them? I wanted to ask them about their own story, (and see how I can build upon those) but not in a dumb way?

Can people lend out some general advice? Its a big meeting, I have worked hard to get it scheduled.

Please help, thanks!

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Hi - I would advise that you be genuine, show enthusiasm when listening to their story and be enthusiastic when telling yours. Look for ways you can add value or help them. Don't be afraid to ask them for specific help - though be mindful this is your first meeting, so anything you ask should be relative to the small amount of trust and respect you can build in one meeting. Make sure you follow up, relationships aren't built in a single meeting. Finally, try to relax and don't put too much pressure on it. A meeting like this should not be a binary one, where you could 'win' or 'lose' something, it is an exploration to see if you have common interests and may like working together in the future, either as co-founders or simply friends and acquaintances. If it's not to be, don't worry or compromise yourself to try and be liked, as this won't help you in the long-term and the business relationship won't last anyway. Better to find out quickly and move onto the next meeting, where you might genuinely click with that person and have a great business relationship. Hope that helps at all!

Yep, it is helping!

When you talk about maintaining relationships further from the first meeting, how would you generally advice?

I mean people are genuinely busy, so to keep in touch sending random mails is not the key, nor will anyone meet you every time you ask for it.

So how do you look at taking things further after the first meeting?

When your listening to them, take on board what interests them or where they are facing challenges, then: - Send them links to articles they may find useful/interesting - Just drop them a friendly/polite note in a week or two's time, giving them a super quick update on what you've been up to and seeing how they're getting along (try to reference something specific they previously mentioned e.g. how did that important meeting with investor A go? - If you're starting to move in the same circles, you may bump into them at events, or you can specifically tell them you're going to one if you think it would be of interest - Hopefully they'll also be in the social media circle too, so they will see content you produce on LinkedIn, Twitter, FB, HN, Quora, your blog etc. - Finally, ask them if they want another meeting 4-6 weeks later...you'll have to gauge this on your first meeting. If you got on like a house on fire, then you can casually invite them for a drink and not worry too much about; if it was a little more formal, but you still think the relationship could be worthwhile for you both, be sure you have some interesting progress to talk about and have thought about value you can bring to them in the f/u meeting. Networking and meetings a very much art over science I find, and you have to use a lot of personal judgement (and you won't always get it right) but if you can be yourself, add value and like the other person then these 3 ingredients should be just right for development some meaningful and lasting relationships. Good luck with your meetings, let me know how they go!

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