I'd tell you a UDP joke… | Hacker News Reader

I'd tell you a UDP joke…

codepuns.com

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"Hi, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."

"Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"

"Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."

"OK, I'll tell you a TCP joke."

"Ok, I will hear a TCP joke."

"Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?"

"Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke."

"Ok, I am about to send the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, it has two characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline."

"Ok, I am ready to get your TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has two characters, does not have an explicit setting, and ends with a punchline."

"I'm sorry, your connection has timed out. Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"

This one is the only one among the 10+ I browsed through on the website and read in the comments that actually made me laugh. Good one! Thanks for sharing. :)

Yeah most of those "jokes" boil down to taking a common programming keyword and using it in a sentence.

I was asked in an interview to explain the difference between TCP and UDP.

I knew about enough to fill an index card: enough for an adequate interview answer, but not enough that I would relish getting follow-up questions.

While deciding what to say I started with this joke. The interviewer laughed and moved on to the next question. I got the job offer.

Or alternatively:

> I would UDP joke tell you a… but you get it might not.

Or alternatively:

> I would UDP joke tell you a… but you get it might not.

> A UDP joke I would tell you... but you might get it not

An SQL Query walks into a bar and sees two table....he says "Mind if I join you?"

I can tell you a DNS joke, but be aware that it might take 8 hours for everyone to get it.

DNS is slow? or you mean domain updates

I've updated the joke, refresh on your end.

I'd share my joke about HTTP here, but it makes me feel insecure.

Mix it with TLS joke

200 OK

I used this during a "geeky jokes" icebreaker at work. No one got the joke so I just sounded condescending. Lesson learned.

This was out of order.

Well played

This looks like a tumblr site, which means you can get all the content on one page instead of having to page through them one at a time:

https://www.codepuns.com/archive

That’s correct

packets udp bar walk a into

ok this might sound crazy, but at first I completely missed the joke because it automatically rearranged the entire sentance into udp packets walked into a bar. I wonder how that works psychologically.

> I completely missed the joke because it automatically rearranged the entire sentance into udp packets walked into a bar.

Same here.

You don't read a word at a time... every typical line of text is taken in with 2 or 3 eye focal points and the meaning of each group of words is determined in a single chunk. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saccade#Reading

2 FORTH PROGRAMMERS BAR INTO WALK

Here is an ICMP joke,

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Thank you

If you want to hear a great ICMP joke just ping me

Failed to shout it loud enough to make an echo. It TTL'ed 3 hops away.

The bad thing about reliable multicast jokes is that you're asked to repeat them.

In the same vein, here are some goodies:

- Jon Skeet facts: https://meta.stackexchange.com/questions/9134/jon-skeet-fact...

- Chuck Norris facts: http://www.betterprogramming.com/chuck-norris-programming-fa...

Bruce Schneier Facts: https://www.schneierfacts.com/

There's two hard problems in programming. Naming things, cache invalidation and off by one errors.

There are two kinds of people when it comes to UDP.

Which are those?

Btw, it reminds me of "10 kinds of people, those who understand binary and those who don't"

those who get it, and ...

Ah, right! :D

There are 11 kinds of people that understand binary. Those that understand binary, those that don't understand binary, and those that understand grey code.

The wording I use is "I have a great UDP joke I could tell you... but I don't know if you'll get it".

You can't guarantee delivery of any message. This is the basis of the 2 generals problem.

IP UDP we all P for TCP

IBM, UBM, we all BM for IBM!

There was list of such jokes for 40+ protocols, past and present, but I cannot find it anymore, only small part on different blogs and forums :(

This may not be the exact one you were thinking of but very similar kind of collection: https://attrition.org/misc/ee/protolol.txt

I think I prefer the punchline “I don’t expect you to get it, and it’s not a big deal if you don’t, happens to everyone”

The great thing about TLS jokes is that you can tell if it's not original.

What did one broke programmer say to the other?

"Hey, buddy, can you paradigm?"

Put a cork in it.

but ICMP took my beer

ght get it liYou mike this though

"get not you might it but"

Did I get it ?

Ulster says NO! :

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ulster_Democratic_Party

https://youtu.be/M1sCNdfMMZA?t=19

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