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Comment by KSierra | Hacker News Reader

What I actually said was that I was wrong, and that "just because you don't perceive it doesn't mean it isn't there." That's not quite the same as saying "you were wrong."

And I also didn't say "because of things you cannot know." Yes, there WERE things that I -- and perhaps others -- cannot know, but I also had plenty of evidence I was ignoring because it didn't fit my personal experience. There were studies, stats, research, and yes -- an overwhelming number of personal anecdotes from too many credible women for me to have ignored the possibility for that long.

I still do not know how pervasive or deep the problems of sexism are -- this is not a domain I have studied. But I was wrong to have used my sole personal experience as evidence that there wasn't really a problem.

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Hi Kathy, it is good you bring up these points as you did in the letter, it is definitely hard to see past privilege and assumptions.

I must say though, as a long time reader and fan, and regarding your modesty regarding yourself, that your design insights place you in the top 0.1% of developers, not average as you stated. Also, you mentioned you felt your looks were below average. I would normally never comment on someone's looks since it is inappropriate in a professional environment, but you mention in the article along the lines that you suspect your looks at 55 were not good enough to be discriminated against, but at 55 you were an exceptionally beautiful person, and again far above average. I thought you were closer to 40 than 55. I'll assume your coding skills aren't great like you claim since I have no idea about that as I've not seen your code, but someone with the level of insight into human factors/interaction design comes along quite rarely and your skills and insight there are remarkable and exceptionally valuable. Any company would benefit more from one Kathy Sierra overseeing design than they would from 100 of the best coders.

As a fellow female in technology, I just want to say you are a beautiful woman (not that it's relevant or if that matters or anything, I just feel like I have to say it) and your amazing contribution to the field as well as your humility despite all that is incredibly inspiring.

I'm sorry that you(or anyone for that matter) had to go through what you went through. I want to thank you for keep speaking up for women who may not have the voice to speak up themselves and I hope you continue to do so and because you never know who you may reach with your writing.

It seems to me you drew analogies between her and you, from the initial state of "seeing no problem at all", and then you realizing that you simply didn't see it. That to me sounds as if you were implying that just like you, she simply doesn't see it and there she is wrong, analogous to the way you were wrong.

Also her article doesn't sound to me as if she claims that there is no problem, just that it is obviously not a problem for every woman.

Laura eventually made it clear that she wasn’t claiming there is no problem, but she did it so poorly that a huge number of people who read her post didn’t get that from it.

Similarly, I (original Primer author) did a poor job making it clear that I never meant to suggest that every woman has this problem. The goal was to inform people that this is happening and this is a problem, even though you _probably were not seeing it_. Kathy’s experience and post are a very personal revelation of the painful journey of discovery (of this fact) that she went through.

I think Laura's piece made it absolutely clear that she was speaking from personal experience and that her experience may have been different to others.

She also made it clear that she had experienced sexism (in some form) at a previous role.

Yes, I suppose I was. Her post reminded me of the posts I used to make, and so yes, I guess I was implying that she, too, was wrong. I agree with you; it was not useful. I have nothing more to add.

[insert expletive here], Kathy, don't quietly slink away. It matters not a whit that not everybody is listening; many are. Whether we are enough or not, I can't say.

The worst of all possible outcomes is that one day Laura (and others like her) should awaken into the same harsh reality that blindsided you. And that will happen unless we, as a community, seriously address the tolerance we have for behaviour that simply should not be tolerated. We need to be reminded that it exists, and that while the behaviour might not be universally pervasive, a sort of tolerance of it, whether with a grudge or a giggle, is nearly so.

I truly hope that Laura never has her eyes opened in the way yours were, but that hope hinges largely on the scenery changing in the meantime. "Make your users awesome" was a message we needed to hear, and that cry was silenced not merely by direct action, but by tolerance as well. This message, if anything, is more important. Let those who have ears, at least, hear it.

I still found it interesting to read about your experiences, so I am bit sorry I worded my comment so strongly. To me it wasn't useful in the context of those two articles, but of course it is useful to hear about your personal experiences as an independent data point.

It was, though.

I loved hearing your experience and I thank you for sharing. There is a difference between saying "your experience is wrong" and saying, as you did, "your experience is incomplete." You have evidence that her experience is incomplete: your own experience contradicts it.

We should care about your experience. Any theory of the world that fails to entertain it as possible is, at best, incomplete. I don't see anything wrong with saying so.

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