It's fun to hear people complain, but Plan 9 has implemented an ftpfs that seems to have no problem accessing both Unix and VMS servers (I can't test it for Windows because honestly, who runs a ftp server on windows?). The source is about 2800 lines, total, including the mkfile.
Edit: don't take this to mean FTP is good; it's insecure and should have been ditched long ago for something like 9p.