Hacker News Reader

That’s a lot of words to pass judgment on someone you’ve never met and know nothing about. The strawman that you’ve created doesn’t resemble my life at all, but you go on feeling smug about being better than the construct in your head. Whatever helps you to sleep at night I guess…

you sound insecure. that guy was making a thoughtful self-reflective observation and it seems like he hit a nerve.

That guy was denigrating somebody who did nothing more than share a list of stuff they thought was cool this year. He came at @fogus (the author) with, essentially, “I’d come across all that cool stuff too if I didn’t have my much better life of wife and kids, I bet he’s existentially unfulfilled.”

Reflective or not, it seems really personal and unfair to swing at a stranger like that. For all he knows, @fogus has the same number of partners and kids as he does, or is just as happy with whatever way their life is organized. I don’t think it’s fair to come at @fogus as “insecure” for reacting to derogatory assumptions.

Maybe everyone else here knows stuff I don’t about @fogus’ life, but I just read somebody being generous enough to share their internal thinking in public and, in exchange, getting shit on for no reason.

And as to gp—I agree the intention seems thoughtful and self-reflective; thank you for sharing those sentiments. I’m glad you’ve found happiness and fulfillment, and I think your point would stand just as strong without swinging at a stranger.

The guy should take his own advice and publish to a private blog.

Some people literally just can't let themselves believe others enjoying their own (different) lives at their own pace.

As if every alternative road has to be imagined as a less satisfying road to validate their own chosen path.

As if the diversity and multiplication of "search paths" through "reality space" is somehow sad or worse or less moral or less virtuous.

Which is absurd of course.

As for me, sometimes I take bad paths just for fun because I'm more curious than cautious.

"This is probably terrible, let's check it out."

And boy is it fun for those of use who like to explore the edges, and I like to imagine that all those taking more traveled paths are also enjoying themselves and the life they have!

This could also be an investment in future happiness. Part of the point of journaling and documenting is to later revisit and unlocking memories one might have not accessed in some time. This is part of the reason Spotify Wrapped and similar "recaps" are enjoyable. People enjoy seeing what they were like. In many ways we are the product of things we do (whether that be consuming or creating) and exploring those things at a future date is to be in conversation with ourselves.

Things like this are also a way of expressing and sharing gratitude, which is a cathartic exercise to engage in periodically. Putting into words "these are things I enjoyed" is worthwhile, in my experience, and sharing it is a small extra step. Additionally, sharing it can be a gift to the future. I can't tell you how much I appreciate effort my parents took to document parts of my childhood (vacations, accomplishments, daily life, etc.) and I know other children feel the same. It's the kind of window to the past that is only open through efforts like this.

> Part of the point of journaling and documenting is to later revisit and unlocking memories one might have not accessed in some time. This is part of the reason Spotify Wrapped and similar "recaps" are enjoyable.

Wow. I hate that. I was doing diary when I was like 10 years old and when I was actually reading that after few weeks it was terrible. Pure cringe and whinings. With music it is not that visible but there are still few bands I cannot stand anymore, and I was litnening to them extensively few years back, like Neurosis.

But as a pure informational referrence... Sure!

I switch from journaling to writing poetry at night maybe 9 years ago. I'll go through phases where I write no poems and phases where I'll write 10-15 poems at night, I rarely revise and I rarely revisit. I've written probably 10k poems and they're all just in a log somewhere.

I personally think poetry is at its best as a medium for writing and feeling and not consuming or sharing. I think everyone should write poetry and only a small number should probably share it, I certainly don't like being surprised by a poetry reading.

Journaling and poetry is what our future selves stand on and not really for your future self to look back on, it's a meditation where you let your internal self flow out instead of getting stuck in loops or living an unexamined life, it helps give shape to the internal nebulous.

I personally prefer poetry over journaling, it's simultaneously terrible poetry and my best, highest utility writing.

> What my life would look like had I not gotten married and had children

For every person that feels better off in that situation, there’s another person who feels trapped and tied down and unable to pursue their passions.

Different things make different people happy. And that’s okay.

This remark always comes from people who do not have children. I have never seen a parent express regret over building a family.

I firmly believe this is because it'd be incredibly socially unacceptable to do so.

Most of the parents I'm close to are in the "wow, this actually kind of sucks" category.

Against what I hear about parenting, I'm mostly left feeling unsatisfied and unfulfilled, but what am I going to do? Maybe it'll come later.

I've never heard of a millionaire express regret over making millions of dollars.

That doesn't mean it's impossible to be happy without a million dollars.

Presumably, outside of accidental pregnancy, people who would be unhappy with children don't have them and people who would be happy with children do have them. It's not really that surprising if people who choose a particular life path tend to be happy with it.

I have. Very much I have but I'm also a safe person to share with generally so I find myself the holder of many other peoples secrets.

There was a great NY Times opinion piece on exactly this. You should try and look it up.

What a bizarre comment. It’s not clear if you are upset about you not being able to dig deep into these subjects or what your deal is. The post is about things this guy thought were interesting this year. Why the hostility?

> I wonder, does the author really find deep life satisfaction in all this?

I have no way of knowing (unless they comment yes/no here). If they do, good for them! But also, I don't think that's the claim in the article, it's literally called The best things and stuff in 2025, not The essential meaning of my life in 2025.

I like when people explore deep interests and share them. Especially, someone who has been doing it for 15 years, consistently. A pre-AI window of humanity. This stuff is more important now, than it ever was.

Thank you for sharing with us how you are happy that you have a wife and kids.

Different people like different things

The post is brilliant, interesting, and deeply performative. It can be all those things, and more. It feels like being shown a display case at your friend's private library ("Did you read them all?" "Oh, these are just for this week" — Umberto Eco used this reply when folks asked him about his 50k books). Obscure references, namedropping, the right doses of self-deprecation, the footnotes (gosh, the footnotes!)

Nobody writes like this just for themselves. It's for the show. It's their mansion of words and it's there to wow bystanders. Mind you, I'm not condemning, just merely stating why the post somewhat irks me. However, I respect the intellectual depth of the author; I might even have a beer with them (though it couldn't be a standard lager, I guess). The Internet would be a better place if it'd be full of content like this post.

Edit: I'm commenting on the post, not on the author. I don't know them. I'd love to.

Using "performative" as a pejorative is dismissive. I like to read and I like to write. These are my hobbies and as a result posts like this come out. I will not apologize for finding certain topics exciting and being excited by a desire to share my excitement with the world. You say that the "Internet would be a better place if it'd be full of content like this post." I agree, and so I share.

By the way. I don't like beer.

Apologies: "performative" was a poor word choice and I can no longer edit the comment. I didn't mean to suggest the enthusiasm isn't genuine. What I was trying to say (clumsily) is that the post is clearly crafted with care for how it lands, which isn't a bad thing.

It strikes me as a little disappointing the way commenters seem to think they know you, and seem to respond to your thoughtful work by picking at you personally.

From the root comment that speculates about your existential happiness (he chose a partner and kids instead, and is happier that way than whatever he assumes your life is like!), to the gp comment that passes judgment on your intentions in writing at all.

I’m not really sure what to make of that, but that kind of behavior is the reason I keep my writing to myself (and specific people I email directly) and never share it. I don’t have the patience to deal with the uninvited judgment, and I worry that I’d respond to the unjustified demands by internalizing them.

My life is richer as a result of you being able and willing to deal with all this, and sharing what stimulated you this year. If I didn’t like it, I’d go read something else and politely abstain from judgment. As it happens, I liked it very much, and I did not go read something else. Thank you.

Thank you for that, thank you for not letting various ancillary grumps dissuade you, and a healthy and stimulating and prosperous new year to you!

The comments are so often people just telling on themselves, it's really wild to see. I'm glad people still create in spite of this instead of letting misanthropic "tastemakers" get their way, the creators are literally increasing the amount of meaning in the world and that is valuable.