> quite a few people would consider "benevolent dictator for life" an outdated model for open source communities.
I think what most people dislike are rugpulls and when commercial interests override what contributors/users/maintainers are trying to get out of a project.
For example, we use forgejo at my company because it was not clear to us to what extent gitea would play nicely with us if we externalized a hosted version/deployment their open source software (which they somewhat recently formed a company around, and led to forgejo forking it under the GPL). I'm also not a fan of what minio did recently to that effect, and am skeptical but hopeful that seaweedfs is not going to do something similar.
We ourselves are building out a community around our static site generator https://github.com/accretional/statue as FOSS with commercial backing. The difference is that we're open and transparent about it from the beginning, and static site generators/component libraries are probably some of the least painful to fork or take issue with their direction, vs critical infrastructure like distributed systems' storage layer.
Bottom line is, BDFL works when 1. you aren't asking people to bet their business on you staying benevolent 2. you remain benevolent.