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Now this makes me genuinely curious: is there a browser which respects privacy, that is usable?

Probably lynx. If a website doesn't work on lynx it probably doesn't respect you either.

If I only ever had to interact and transact with people and organizations and services that respected me, my life would be amazing.

Unfortunately, life is not a song.

firefox has several privacy focused forks. waterfox, librewolf and zen are options.

Which one of these is most trustworthy in terms of

1. doesn't (and won't) munge personal data

2. will be available in 2035

?

Probably librewolf. I use zen as it has a nice ui, vertical tabs and isn’t overly hardened.