Sure, but in those examples - automation and short-lifetime certs are totally possible.
Or.. any registrar for that matter (Namecheap, Gandi, Godaddy)?
The answer seems to be: "Bro, you want security so the way you do that is to give every device that needs TLS entire access to modify any DNS record, or put it on the public internet; that's the secure way".
(PS: the way this was answered before was: "Well then don't use LE and just buy a certificate from a major provider", but, well, now that's over).
I don’t need to create any new and operationally unnecessary attack surface to prove that I control the domain.