HN Spoof | Hacker News Reader

HN Spoof

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681 pointsnorswap82 comments

Some background, since I helped write this and don't actually think this is a great thing to be on HN:

My friend Dave and I started the LinkedList a while ago as a weekly events newsletter for programmers in New York. After 70+ issues, we got burnt out on meetups (http://www.linkedlistnyc.org/archive/issue_075.html), and have been experimenting with other formats for the past few months.

We write the List exclusively for our own fun, and lately it's mostly been satire (e.g., http://www.linkedlistnyc.org/archive/issue_076.html)

Mods, feel free to delete the post if you see fit.

I think it's great to be able to poke fun at one's self and also not to take things so seriously. Thank you much for the few minutes of hilarity and humor - I appreciated it!

I was pretty burnt out with my current venture too, until i built a standing desk out of $17 worth of ikea parts.

I can't tell if this is part of the satire or not ...

I inadvertently created an email black hole. MY STOMACH WAS IN KNOTS.

Perhaps I should write a long explanation...

Contrary to popular belief, HN does not have an informal "no humor" policy; HN has an informal "no cheap humor" policy. We (if I may presume to speak for the general community) don't want links to meme images or cheap recitations of popular quotes from TV or movies or something, but if you put some work into it to good result, it's great. Be not ashamed. This was pretty funny at several points. I especially enjoyed the adjectives on the comment counts.

There is an anti-Christmas policy, however: http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=3364516. :)

XOR, “The Tricky One”: advanced Boolean logic for nontechnical founders (scribd)

Make Fucking Linkbait With a Punchy Expletive

I learned how to program the HTML this weekend. Here’s what I learned

How to defeat procrastination using Chrome plugins

As an aside, I think it's logical OR that's tricky for non technical/math types since XOR more closely matches common usage.

What? No it doesn't. When people say "No bare ankles or shoulders", that doesn't mean it's ok if you bare both of them.

I think he means when it is used like "coffee or tea?"

The answer to that when one wants both coffee and tea is "yes" rather than "no".

"No food or drink" is a good one, so many possible misinterpretations between or vs. XOR, and how you scope the "not".

Hilarious. Some suggestions: "Stop doing XXXX now", "YYYY is dead", and "Google's I'm Feeling Lucky button disappears: the beginning of the end?"

Here's a similar spoof from 13 years ago. Wow, Slashdot really hasn't changed much, has it? http://www.suck.com/daily/99/12/13/daily.html

zzzz is broken....

Oh, how I am yearning for the inclusion of a "Discussion of Language Design As If Ruby and Python Were The Only Two Languages Ever Made" article followed by some article with a snarky title about Java and C++ devs quietly making hillariously large stacks of cash and ignoring new languages. :D

I'm tired of reading articles or e-mails that begin with, "This one tip could increase conversions 250% if you put it in practice." This one tip spans four pages and yet could be condensed into one sentence. The funny thing is that the bulk of the four pages have nothing to do with the tip and everything to do with sounding hip. I see more and more articles like this on HN from so-called business geniuses. It really makes me crave boring business books.

The self-help / self-improvement literature has a default form that was established well over a century ago.

Pick up and read Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. Page through Eugen Sandow's Strength and How To Obtain It. Each starts with a personal biography that is in sum: once I was weak / ineffective / socially awkward, now I am not, here's my story of transformation.

It's eerie how similar contemporary works are in following the same formula.

Cracked me up seeing the 'same shoe' posts having just written something similar myself (http://davebeer.com/posts/wearing-the-same-shoes/).

Not that I'd submit it as a story to HN. But it did make me thing I'm closer to a parody than not.

I know these kinds of things aren't the best for HN, but every once in a while, you gotta have some fun.

Great job, OP.

On 12/31/09, I did one of these as a 10 year prediction. Funny how some things change and some don't:

Hacker News 12/31/2019 new | comments | leaders | jobs | submit login

  1. Tell HN: Congratulations Patio11 - first to reach 1,000,000 karma
     4 points by iamelgringo 1 hour ago | discuss

  2. Ask HN: Any Predictions for the Year 2029?
     11 points by DanielBMarkham 37 minutes ago | 8 comments

  3. The Apple Tablet to Launch 1st Quarter 2020 (cnet.com)
     210 points by vaksel 20 hours ago | 122 comments

  4. President-Elect Graham to Appoint Sam Altman to Cabinet (msnbc.com)
     14 points by muriithi 4 hours ago | 2 comments

  5. Trevor Blackwell's Robot Collects Rocks on Mars (science.com)
     143 points by ojbyrne 18 hours ago | 81 comments

  6. Tell HN: Hacker News is getting too much like reddit
     17 points by jamesjones 6 hours ago | 3 comments

  7. Last Land Line Disconnected at Midnight (cnn.com)
     6 points by chickamade 3 hours ago | discuss

  8. Mark Zuckerman buys Portugal (worldnews.com)
     51 points by larryz 14 hours ago | 16 comments

  9. How Half Our Staff Telecommutes from Space (joelonsoftware.com)
     45 points by jspolsky 13 hours ago | 2 comments
  
  10. No Deadlines Needed After Singularity is Reached (wired.com)
      44 points by bxgame 14 hours ago | 28 comments

  11. Ask pg: Why do YC teams only get $1,000,000?
      19 points by abcklm 9 hours ago | 5 comments

  12. KidneyExchange.com has 10,000th successful transplant (yahoo.com)
      23 points by phsr 10 hours ago | 7 comments

  13. Walmart Acquires Microsoft (wallstreetjournal.com)
      76 points by francis24 20 hours ago | 17 comments

  14. Baby Communicates from Womb via usb23.7 (scientificamerican.com)
      13 points by johnson 8 hours ago | 7 comments

  15. Mark Bao Starts 1,000th Start-Up (startupnews.com)
      4 points by MarySmith 3 hours ago | discuss

  16. unalone accepts Pulitzer for blog (cnn.com)
      20 points by bootload 10 hours ago | 11 comments

  17. Ask HN: Review my app: NoMoreAds.com (nomoreads.com)
      17 points by fred 10 hours ago | discuss

  18. Poll: Favorite Language, Ruby 92.7 or C++++++++
      37 points by uafes 17 hours ago | 5 comments

  19. Feds Force Google to Divest its Apps Business (news.com)
      38 points by pete 17 hours ago | 5 comments

  20. Burrito Tunnel Between Calif & NYC Finally Completed (onion.com)
      50 points by jose 20 hours ago | 20 comments
  
  21. In 2020 Belize will become the world’s second-largest economy (economist.com)
      30 points by pg 16 hours ago | 23 comments

  22. Ask HN: What was Microsoft Office?
      63 points by yahfsh 23 hours ago | 6 comments

  23. Wikipedia Available on Gumwrapper (abc.com)
      3 points by lapenne 3 hours ago | discuss

  24. Boeing Dreamliner Delayed Until 2022 (airlinenews.com)
      4 points by mitchel 5 hours ago | discuss

  25. Ted Williams becomes 1st to win MVP with 2 different bodies (mlb.com)
      5 points by johnson 6 hours ago | 2 comments

  26. Ask HN: Review my app (virtualsex.com)
      125 points by ghpoa 1 day ago | 13 comments

  27. Science: Cigarettes Were Healthy After All (science.com)
      43 points by woodyallen 20 hours ago | 14 comments

  28. Broadband Finally Reaches Flint, Michigan (cbs.com)
      133 points by johnguest 1 day ago | 20 comments

  29. GO TO Added to Python, 27 Programmers Jump Out Windows (python.org)
      149 points by swert 1 day ago | 20 comments

  30. Wipe The Slate Clean For 2020, Commit Web 9.0 Suicide (techcrunch.com)
      2 points by nreece 2 hours ago | discuss

  More

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  Feature Requests | Y Combinator | Apply | Library

(Original link and discussion: http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1025798)

As a portuguese... Zuckerberg buying Portugal would be the best thing ever! =D

Too bad it's Mark Zuckerman, a little-known cheese manufacturer. After the depression, Portugal was going for $3,000.

ahaha! my mistake =) still... as the country is going, even a little-known cheese manufacter will be able to buy the country

Yep, we'll throw Greece in for an extra $800, looks like!

I'd sure as hell leave in a pinch.

> (msnbc.com)

Uh oh

I wonder if clicking "more" still leads to "unknown or expired link" in 2019...

Only if you spent enough time on that page to read its contents.

"I don't widely support what you're saying, but I've already said it."

#21 made me laugh out loud, something which rarely happens on HN. I've been writing for years about how I could take Belize and turn it into Silicon Valley part 2, so that struck a chord with me. Well done.

Care to share some of your posts on the subject? I'm curious as here in Honolulu the tech scene is fairly lackluster and I wonder why Belize would be any different.

Here are a couple of my postings: http://daeken-eulogy.livejournal.com/21515.html http://daeken-eulogy.livejournal.com/21937.html http://daeken-eulogy.livejournal.com/22136.html

I need to post some new ones; I have a couple unfinished ones here. I still agree with the majority of what I wrote, but I have some new insight into the problems plaguing Belize and how they can be tackled.

  A Thoughtful Story Derailed By A High-karma Poster Comment
  459 points by wellactually 17 hours ago | flag | 157 myopic comments

damnit PG....

This should include ASK HN: What to do I am 60 years old programmer?

Needs at least one submission titled: How I Built a Standing Desk In Three Easy Steps

What about:

Fascinating Article I Submitted - 1 month ago - 1 point

Month-Old Fascinating Article with '?' Appended to URL - 15 minutes ago - 1,421 points

Amusingly accurate, but you forgot to include an article about the US Patent system, and a few Marco/Daring Fireball/etc articles on the latest event or rumor in Apple Land. Oh, and those Elon Musk and Tim Cook articles could use a few more zeroes tacked to the end of their comment counts.

While we're at it, a parody of the average HN comment thread would have to include:

  When will people get the message about grey text on light backgrounds?

  WHY DID THE MODS CHANGE THE TITLE IT WAS PERFECTLY DESCRIPTIVE BEFORE AND NOW
  IT ISN'T
    Separate comment thread discussing Stack Overflow's moderation.

  Helpful link to Wikipedia article explaining some concept explicitly mentioned
  in story or parent comment.

  Is this site down for anyone else?
    viewtext.org mirror

  Does not work in my browser.

  jbigglesworth48, I just wanted to let you know, you've been hellbanned.

  Ugh, Flash video/bootstrap/touch gestures?

  Steve Jobs
    Steve Jobs
      Steve Jobs
    Steve Jobs
      Tim Cook
        Steve Jobs
    Can we stop talking about Steve Jobs already? I mean, he did XYZ but he
    wasn't exactly Q.
      Steve Jobs
        How is this even relevant to the story?
          Steve Jobs

  I don't mean to be pedantic, but you made a spelling or grammatical error.
    Well, actually...

  This story is *Not HN Worthy*, any Freshman CS student should have learned
  this within seconds of stepping into his first lecture.
    Actually, there are a lot of non-programmer HN readers who are interested in
    this, you need to check your programmer/college educated/computer loving/
    first world/middle class/white/male/young/old privilege.

  Insightful and relevant comment containing a subtle joke.
    Please excuse me while I completely misunderstand this joke and write a
    fervent argument against something the author never argued.
      Please excuse me while I explain the joke in excruciating detail.
      I think the author meant X.
      It was a joke.
      I think the author was joking.
      I should know better, but I'm going to argue with you anyways.
        Guy who didn't get the joke here, I saw your comment before the ones
        explaining the joke, let's have a giant flamewar.
    I don't get this joke. Can someone explain?
      Another excruciatingly detailed explanation of the joke.
    Zero responses to the actual comment.

  This comment is *what's Wrong with HN*

  Recent Apple decision is bad, and I am saying this *as a guy who owns
  APPLE_PRODUCT*

EDIT: How could I forget:

  I didn't actually read the article, but I'm going to start arguing about what
  I *thought* the article was about, based on the title.
  
  EDIT: Why am I being downvoted?

and of course, my personal favorite:

  Ok, go ahead and downvote, me, assholes, see what I care!

You omitted my fav hn cliche:

"This."

This.

Agreed.

That's actually from the Well dating back at least to the 1990s.

This.

...is a plague of reddit and other internet forums, too ;)

The title is misleading. Every story has a complaint about the title not conveying enough information, thereby forcing the reader to RTFA (or at least click on the link).

Every one of those things should be in a dropdown box next to the "comment" link on a story. Then you could just register yourself as being in one of those buckets instead of posting a message which says as much. It would save time and maybe even reduce the comments to those which don't fall into one of those categories.

Well, I can dream...

I've noticed that all the communities I follow have a tendency toward self hatred.

It's the more fun version of humility?

It's definitely entertaining. I like to think it's a sign that dogma won't be tolerated, but perhaps I'm being naive.

It's the recognition that we humans are tedious creatures.

I lost it at "Impressive thing in Pure CSS". Those are probably the most redundant submissions.

A parody that funny means it's time to leave.

I'll be back in 30,000 minutes to show off what I built instead of reading HN. You're all invited to do the same.

Drop me a line on twitter if you need some moral support.

Dinner is overdue for disruption.

That was definitely my favourite :).

  11. Twitter is down (2010) 
  67 points by retrothrowback 6 hours ago | flag | 140 short comments

Clever.

That one had me cracking up.

This is exactly accurate. I would like this as a Chrome plugin.

How come there is nothing about Python dying in there!

At this point, it is already dead.

I thought Ruby was dead. Or was that, "Java is dead"? Or maybe it was "C++ is dead."

I also vaguely remember reading:

  * "JavaScript will never be dead"
  * "Dart arrived dead"
  * "PHP should be dead"
  * "Lisp is back from the dead"
  * "D stands for 'dead'"
  * "SELECT FROM NOSQL WHERE STATUS IS DEAD"
  * "COBOL still isn't dead"
  * "Haskell Maybe dead"

Death is dead.

That caps lock thing does actually sound intriguing ... except that I already use it as Super.

I liked the "A Legitimately Interesting Technical Blog Post" being at the bottom.

I've seen that happen a few times, seeing an promising sounding article that might have some actual code and explanations in it on the front page. Then refresh the page and it's gone replaced with "Scrutinisation and speculation based on one sentence from an Apple press statement".

I suppose these articles will find it difficult to get to the top because they are more niche. I know there are other more programming focused places like proggit but they tend to focus more on "How I implemented SNES emulator in pure Haskell" type articles than practical ones for business.

"Linked List" is brilliant xD Excellent stuff!

Does anyone know if this:

  22. Things I Learned Writing an HN Parody
  4 points by nicholasjbs 6 minutes ago | flag | discuss

refer to the creator? Or did norswap make it?

Nich confessed to helping write it.

I was disappointed a few of those didn't actually click to articles.

I'm actually in tears laughing right now. Lol.

Well done. Well done...

I actually clicked #30 out of curiosity.

The beautiful part of this is that this isn't just a spoof about "things that tend pop up on the HN front page." I'm pretty sure they took the front page at one point in time and turned it into satire post by post, perhaps injecting a couple stereotypical links after the fact.

It looks like it was yesterday's front page.

Hilarious. For anyone that didn't notice the first time, look at the text of the "YY comments", there's another mini joke there.

I have to echo edw519's sentiment, btw - Humor on HN is usually misplaced, but this was just totally worth it!

Nothing about headlines that include blatant, "editorialized", personal opinions?

<sarcasm prevent-downvote="true">I don't get the joke, what so funny in an exact copy of hacker news in the past few months, only the links not working</sarcasm>

Excellent, and only made better by my reading it shortly after remapping my Caps Lock key to be both Esc and Ctrl…

Now we just need clickable links, and ability for readers to submit the stories behind the headlines!