Saying it's damage is by design. Apple wants to scare you aware. I agree it feels bad from one POV. That was my initial reaction. I also agree though that steering grandma away from evil apps is good too.
It's no wonder granny has zero confidence in the computer and is always behind.
In general I'd contend that the mindest which leads you to believe "we need to lie to our users because they are dumb" isn't conducive to making good software.