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What I don't get, all this data is reported by your machine - why isn't there a tool/browser fork that allows spoofing a (fairly) complete realistic profile, with some sane presets like Edge/W11/Thinkpad or Safari/macOS/M4? Is it too complex, would it break too much, or am I just unaware?

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There are browsers that people use for multi accounting that switch fingerprints for you. See octobrowser and other similar ones. They're generally paid products and need to work in conjunction with proxies

Most privacy-thumping browsers do this, to some degree, but it’s not a panacea. The article gets into it.

The article mentions some complications and browsers like LibreWolf that address some of them. But that's not really what I have in mind - I'm thinking more of a dashboard with editable fields for everything that might get queried, populated with what currently gets sent, and a drop-down that lets you select among preset/saved custom profiles.

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