This advice sounds good on paper (or on Substack) but in reality any given verbal confrontation is a roll of the dice. I have tried what she's advocating many times over the years and on quite a few occasions the result was I was shut down and hard by the interlocutor. Other times, the interlocutor paid lip service to the point I brought up but slid right back into old/unhelpful patterns after we discussed it. Sometimes it created a much larger conflict than what had been brewing, and not one that ultimately got us to a better place (one time it almost caused a physical fight!). Often I regretted opening up the issue in the first place.

My lesson is: Sure, don't be totally non-communicative about your issues but pick your entries as well as you can and be willing to guess that some are not worth it. And also know you'll often be wrong in your guesses. You can't really win this game.