> I see the mistakes being made and know what it will cost (because I've been there and done that many times), I do my best to explain that and recommend alternatives, but more often than not it still happens anyway.

I'm mid-40s (I can't believe it) and I made a slightly different move a few years ago into more senior leadership, where I get more say in how things are done. This is precisely for this reason: I felt the larger problems to solve were in how to protect the team both from unnecessary external influences and from (potentially) overly-loud but not sensible people suggesting architectures that would be a lot of time and not a lot of value. I then moved to another company and retained a similar level of seniority.

I have different challenges now in having more influence (one sees the problems elsewhere that would be fixed if one were in charge of that as well, but one can become blind to issues within one's purview) but I quite like it overall.

The alternative probably is freelancing. Find a niche and occupy it, without charging the earth, and you'll probably do well emotionally and in providing for your family.