1. Everything is a monolith. Frontend, backend, dataplane, processing, whatever: it's all one giant, tightly coupled vertically-scaled ball of mud. (This is insane.)
2. Everything is a monolith, but parts are horizontally scaled. Imagine a big Flask app where there are M frontend servers, and N backend async task queue processors, all running the same codebase but with different configurations for each kind of deployment. (This is perfectly reasonable.)
3. There are a small number of separate services. That frontend Flask server talks to a Go or Rust or Node or whatever backend, each appropriate to the task at hand. (This is perfectly reasonable.)
4. Everything is a separate service. There are N engineers and N+50% servers written in N languages, and a web page load hits 8 different internal servers that do 12 different things. The site currently handles 23 requests per day, but it's meant to vertically scale to Google size once it becomes popular. Also, everything is behind a single load balancer, but the principle engineer (who interned at Netflix) handwaves it away a "basically infinitely scalable". (This is insane.)
These conversations seem to devolve into fans of 1 and 4 arguing that the other is wrong. People in 2 and 3 make eye contact with each other, shrug, and get back to making money.