We've been using python Baker[1] to achieve the similar thing with a little bit of extra flexibility. Occasionally we call out to bash but most scripts are written in python.
The sub-commands are handled simply by having a primary baker that calls the execute method on the children: 'b git' => 'import git; git.execute(['b git'] + argv)'
Is it correct to say that support have access to all data on the production databases of all products?
One assumes that all usage of 37 is logged and reported to the user privacy and data security team, and that any attempt to connect to those databases in any other fashion is a firable offense.