> That's not what I want. I want a subtle shade of grey.
Does your preference change if you reduce your screen brightness?
Bright features over a really dark background can be unsettling, but that's about screen adjustment, not really about the software colors.
Anyway, I do argue that people shouldn't just pick #000 and #fff by default. But that's because if you are already using the extremes of your palette, you can't get a more extreme one when you need to emphasize something. The arguments on "unnatural" colors and visual preferences all seem baseless to me, because those numbers don't correspond with any actual physical color, they are all relative.
About dark maps, I've seen it done well. Exactly once, and I can't point you the software because it was embedded and I don't remember what the device was. But as hard as it seems to be, it is still possible.