That's a real mystery to me. Seriously, it's baffling.
I live in the US and drive a diesel Passat, and I regularly get 40+ mpg without paying attention to how I drive or particularly close attention to whether my tires are fully inflated.
To address the comparisons you brought up above, some are clearly wrong:
High mass-- irrelevant; gas mileage is higher.
High bulk-- irrelevant; the car is normal sized.
High smog pollution-- not since the introduction of ultra-low sulfur diesel in the US in 2007.
The particulates are still worse, but diesel wins on the rest, mostly through efficiency.
That leaves the causes of the poor market acceptance as
Poor performance.
High cost.
High noise pollution.
Something else we haven't thought of
I can't speak for anyone other than myself, but the performance is great; the acceleration is particularly good above 30 or 40 mph. From a maintenance perspective, I have done literally zero maintenance on the car in the 3 years I've owned it other than to fix a leak from a clogged roof drain.
On cost, I've been saving money on gas on a per-mile basis since I bought it. So far, I think I've saved around $1000 on gas. I don't know about the market price for diesels vs. equivalent gas cars across the market, but I'd be surprised if I lost on this.
The difference in engine noise is not noticeable inside the car; I don't know whether my neighbors hate it or not. I am quite certain that engine noise was not a factor in my purchasing decision at all.
So, I don't know, gravitycop. I'm as mystified as you are. If diesels are this great, why doesn't everyone in the US buy them?
My best guess is that people don't think of it as an option. They remember the loud, smelly diesels of the 70's and think, "Hell, no, I want a nice shiny Honda Accord!"