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> - don't have seats otherwise people will sit down, and sitting down is the party killer

My Nan used to always say to me:

"You know what happens to girls that sit down at parties?"

"What Nan?"

"Nothing!"

> I've organized so many parties that I feel qualified to comment here

> I refuse to use an event page personally because I think it makes it less personal. I always DM people directly if I want to invite them.

These parties you've organized, I'm sure they were quite lovely, but can't have been truly epic, yeah? DMing, say 30 people is one thing, but if you're looking at, let's say 500, is another matter. If you need to spend 30 seconds per attendee to get their name and their telephone number and then paste in the same message, 500 attendees makes that take over 4 hours!

I've thrown parties with 100s of people and its mostly because people invite other people, for people you care less about a single DM you copy/pasted with the info is enough.

I also organize pretty large meetups with easily 500 people trying to get into the guest list and it's the same amount of work to go through the list and vet people tbh

What automation and tooling do you use? Between Twilio and iMessage python library and beeper, even if you don't use Partiful, there's lots of opportunity for software to make things less laborious.

> always prepare a punch. People don't realize it but there's alcohol in this thing

Why is it that alcohol seems to be a necessary ingredient to people having a good time? Or at least everybody assumes this to be the case?

Why is nobody able to be themselves and relax and have fun without being intoxicated, mildly or more?

Serious question, I don't get it.

Because people have psychological barriers (naturally or "imposed" via education) that alcohol or other psychotropic substances help tearing down. Not having those barriers is a great help in having a great party.

But obviously not everyone is the same in that regard and also the very definition of "party" and "great party" can change.

Indeed. In my experience, once the alcohol level has crossed a certain threshold, you need to be taking part to think it's great. If you are a non-drinker, for whatever reason (pregnant, medication, morals, ...) what you get to observe beyond that threshold is a huge turnoff and the opposite of a great event.

Well it's a fact that you do get more open and relaxed with alcohol. The barriers go down.

And over the lifetime people almost all the time had alcohol when they where at parties. You start to associate alcohol with fun and parties.

Of course this is generalized and depends on cultures and groups.

That's what I like about them young Gen Z, they drink less alcohol. Sadly they also socialise less.

I once heard a story that Inuits in Greenland did not have access to alcohol so everyone could drink. Instead only half drank, and the other half had water but where allowed to act as if they where drunk. I'm not sure this is real, but I can see it happend.

> You start to associate alcohol with fun and parties.

That's probably it. It's a ritual. A costly one though, in terms of money as well as health. Direct cost (liver, brain cells, ...), as well as indirect (accidents, fights, ...).

> That's what I like about them young Gen Z, they drink less alcohol.

I wouldn't celebrate to soon. Every movement eventually spawns a countermovement. Next gen might be the most booze consuming ever.

Gen Z is a bunch of squares. I'm hoping alpha is more relaxed.

People are able to be themselves and relax when they feel safe. Safe from judgement, rejection, reprisal, etc. When you're with a group of people you don't know, you don't know how safe they are.

Getting drunk helps people feel uninhibited from all of that. There are a million other ways to feel safer with new people, but drinking happens to be extremely easy and quick.

> People are able to be themselves and relax when they feel safe. Safe from judgement, rejection, reprisal, etc. When you're with a group of people you don't know, you don't know how safe they are.

And how is any of that related to alcohol? My friend can open up to me when we are in a safe environment without the need for first ingesting a drug. It's not the alcohol that causes the safety.

Maybe it's a ritual, that could explain things partially. But maybe a ritual worth abandoning. Just like we did with smoking, and everybody gained (well except the tobacco industry).

I'm sure the boozemakers won't let go without a fight though. But so far they have plenty of help.

> And how is any of that related to alcohol?

Alcohol relaxes and you often get judged less when you are silly while you are drunk.

Think of it as lubrication, the gears spin fine without it, but it's easier with some grease.

> My friend can open up to me when we are in a safe environment without the need for first ingesting a drug. It's not the alcohol that causes the safety.

But that's not a party. I mean, there are people that open up when drunk, but they do it with strangers. But if you are opening up to a friend, a real friend, I would say the norm is to do it without any substance involved. Because the barriers are already not there.

Kurzgesagt did an excellent video about that: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOwmt39L2IQ

It talks about how harmful alcohol is, but also how it benefits society.

Alcohol is a social lubricant. Next question.

> - don't have seats otherwise people will sit down, and sitting down is the party killer

I agree with all your points but this one. My parties go for hours, people wanna chill. Usually there's some corner playing board games or smoking hookah, it's the perfect couch scenario and a great way to let a party go loooooong. People's feet get tired! Also I've had all sorts of all ages, people with MS or whatever else, pregnant people, etc.

I would say split your house or apartment into sections, just like clubs do: the biggest area is the music area, the kitchen is the stand around and snack and have ridiculously deep conversations area, wherever the couches are is the smash bros / hookah / just take a break area, the balcony or backyard is the smoking / drunk wrestling area. Definitely no seats in the music area. And NEVER let someone bring a guitar.

Yeah agree, sections is great, I've had people sit on the floor when they get tired