Dave Barry is a humor writer. I've followed him for 20 years and this is absolutely his style of writing, perhaps even paraphrased from one of his pieces.
Hats off to OP if this is their original writing, it nails his style.
Hats off to OP if this is their original writing, it nails his style.
Because of this, I both like him and associate him with my early nerdiness.
I’m now banned.