I Turned 25! Give me your best life advice!
Don't hold back.
Please share what you have learned over the years in every area of life. Relationships, career, business, health, wealth etc.
I am sure this will be a post to come back to every now and then, so, please include stories, regrets, lessons from your life.
Thank you!
If you have not already done this, in addition to maxing out your 401(k), start a Roth IRA and max it out every single year. I regret not doing this.
Compound interest is everything for most regular people to build net worth. Compound debt is the worst.
As the saying goes, there will be friends for a reason, friends for a season, and friends for a lifetime. Friendships will run their natural course. That being said, do your best to maintain friendships you want to try to keep as you get older.
Don't get stuck in the friend zone. Be bold and ask that person out umambigously.
As many dentists say, floss the teeth that you want to keep. I recommend flossing then Water Pik then brushing with a mechanical toothbrush like an Oral-B.
If you don't know, learn how to cook. There are so many resources out there. While not knowing how to cook might be cute or excusable by a potential partner in your 20s, by your 30s or 40s it is no longer funny and definitely a liability.
Don't sit all day. Even standing desks aren't enough. Do some light calisthenics every hour. Push-ups, wall-sits, squats, knee bends.
Make the time to see friends in-person. We are all hardwired to crave IRL social interaction, even the most introverted of us.
You might want to skim Sahil Bloom's book. While it might not the best at being actionable, it might make you think about the next 25 years in better context.
https://www.the5typesofwealth.com/
Don't give other people advice. They probably don't want it. They don't want you to fix their problems. Shut up and listen instead.
And the generalization of this -- work 'a bit, regularly' towards the big things you want in your 30s during your 20s.
There isn't enough time in the day (or willpower) to overcome 10 years of missed regular practice.
In your 20s, because everyone is somewhat similar, people focus on current state (in a skill, socioeconomically, etc) rather than growth rate.
In your 30s+, you will start to see serious differences in your peers' outcomes as a consequence of that growth rate (and luck / clever risk mitigation). By then it will be too late to start growing.
So identify your goals and start making small amounts of progress towards them daily.
Think of it as the life version of compounding interest. ;)
I am at point right now where this statement definitely rings true. My generation as a whole is struggling with friendships.
I put birthday of my friends in calendar, so I remember to call them/exceptionally write them on birthday. I don't hesitate to contact them even if someone forgets about mine birthday and this is the only way so I can keep contact with so many friends when you both are quite busy with everyday duties. I know that this might sound odd and artificial for you at your age, but it is very easy to lose some people with moves or once one of you are busy with newborn children or work.
And little thought about relationship, assuming that you thread it seriously, you and your chosen one should be prepared for the worst than can happen do you two and you need to start practice on small problems, so you can go trough huge problems you may encounter. So I really recommend to work on yourselves or rethinking the relationship if minor problems cause quarrels between you two.
I differ from some career advice on what gives you satisfaction which can highly subjective and can bring in elements of regret at some point. So to understand your decision making, expand your mind horizon by reading and seeing more of the world.
Most of all, either learn to manage stress or work on something that doesn't give you continued stress that you can't get out of. Because you matter, at least to yourself and your loved ones.
2. dont be what others want you to be. be what you want to be.
3. stay away from anything that can kill you or make you poor. especially those that work slowly.
4. backups are a good idea, almost everywhere in life.
5. No doesn't always mean no. Yes doesn't always mean yes. People change. Things change.
6. worst kind of failure is when you try and don't know why you failed. every failure teaches you, learn to learn.
7. copy first. be original second.
8. praise, dont flatter.
9. take risks early. before 35.
10. make someone happy.
Your body peaks in your late 20s or early 30s. It will get a hell of a lot harder to lose weight, and undo any bad choices you make now the older you get.
Build a sustainable base of eating habits and exercise and *never* let it drop. You don't have to do anything crazy at all, just be consistent. Oh, and use sunscreen.
Also, when you're 35, you will likely have a much better understanding of what really matters to you, and what kind of partner you really want for the long haul.
It's often said that "60 is the new 50" — and it is, if you do it right — the corollary is something like, "25 is the new 19". That's a gift! Take advantage.
Indeed you will, and she'll be married with kids at that point.
>It's often said that "60 is the new 50" — and it is, if you do it right — the corollary is something like, "25 is the new 19". That's a gift! Take advantage.
Again, it certainly can be for men if you're willing to date younger. But human biology has not changed. Women are well aware of the fact that their fertility drops off a cliff starting at 30. Plan accordingly.
The timelines part is really hits. Many people have told me to wait until 30-35 but the issue is the women that you're interested in are not going to wait for you...
A real dilemma ngl.
Stay away from (1) alcohol, (2) gambling, and (3) loose women.
Extrapolate (1) to all harmful substances (including "mild" recreational drugs like marijuana); (2) to anything with a negative expected value (this could summarize the entire list, but includes lottery, sports betting, speculation on crypto, etc.); and (3) to anyone who hasn't established trust or who has a motive to take advantage of others for a quick personal benefit.
Read Taleb re: ancient, "grandmotherly/grandfatherly" wisdom; and heuristics / rules of thumb.
Read Munger re: invert (think through things backward) and avoiding probable misfortune instead of trying to be "happy". (See my granddad's list above.)
If you're male, the truth is that men in the United States still don't have anything close to equal rights when it comes to marriage, family, and especially children and pregnancy/reproduction. Therefore, I would add: always distrust any casual sexual partners (see Rule 3) and get a very good prenuptial agreement (although avoiding marriage altogether may be the optimal strategy for men nowadays).
Lastly, find and develop tight and trusting professional relationships with a competent attorney, a competent accountant, and a competent financial adviser. Use them frequently and take their advice seriously. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
Godspeed.
The most important relationships in your life are the ones where you’re naturally your best self. Prioritize those. My best relationships are the ones where I’m a good friend to them. You might be thinking of it backwards. (I sometimes have made that mistake). A betrayal of a good friend will haunt you forever. Think carefully about how to be true to those most important to you.
Save for down payment and buy a house. That’s the path to generational wealth.
Spend less than you make.
Create a habit of daily exercise. This becomes increasingly important in later years.
Everyone should work for a big successful company at least once (I used to say FAANG, but obviously with the renames that’s not true and also the world has changed. Start by making your list of the most important companies in the world). Learn as much as possible from the smartest people possible (also keep track of what NOT to do and how not to behave). Don’t stay so long it eats your soul.
In this economy?
Candidly, they can only do so much to save a relationship, if both people aren't invested in that.
What it will do, if you lean into it, is ensure you introspect and realize mistakes, so you don't make them in your next relationship.
The only thing worse than making mistakes is ignorantly making the same ones over and over again. And in the heat of a troubled relationship, it's far too easy to assign blame to your partner rather than yourself.
Learn what makes you happy. Deep collaboration with others, feeling that I'm helping to make a better world, and spending time outdoors are some things that do it for me. Don't prioritize money over happiness.
Value people. Make their lives better. Work to create and maintain relationships with people who matter to you, both in and outside of your working life.
I'm here to tell you that you won't, unless you make an effort.
(Of course, I remember the guy who was in a group I ate lunch with in grad school who ended up running Google 25 years later; I don't know if he remembers me...)
I took photos once digital cameras were available, but I strongly regret not keeping a journal, I could have easily done so.
I would recommend getting a 35mm film camera and taking a LOT of pictures. Capture yourself, family, events, travel, life milestones.
You will only REGRET the ones you did not take.
Alternatively, something I am looking into, is printing a few hundred photos you have on your smartphone at the end of each year. Get the best ones in physical form to keep safe.
I think its a beautiful way of capturing your year. You don't have to post it anywhere, just keep it for yourself, family, and especially future kids.
Video example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-G2K7Ll_R4
2) At some point in the near future, all your friends will suddenly start marrying and having babies. You don't have to do the same, but make sure to cultivate the kinds of friends that will keep you in their lives when that happens. People have a tendency to disappear into their families. Make yourself part of someone else's family.
3) Hold humility and empathy in the highest regard, and don't let anyone take them away from you.
Every government is bad at it, it's just to varying degrees.
Be willing and able to move country will open opportunities; learn one second language to business level that will enable more opportunities.
The Sam Vimes theory of socioeconomic unfairness is real and important; have a lifestyle such that you build up a savings pile sufficient that you can afford to spend less: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boots_theory
You should be focusing on doing the basics for health including strength and endurance training and eating a diet high in protein and fiber: https://www.barbellmedicine.com/blog/where-should-my-priorit...
Decide why you're doing things. You'll be able to pull off things you never expected, with a some deep thought and a good plan. Plan your career, your finances. If it's your thing, plan what kind of person you'll meet and share a life with. Plan to maintenance your relationships.
Plan for problems, and disasters, because you will have many. Friends will die, plans will fail, money will be lost. A little planning will help you survive those storms.
Take pictures of yourself and what you're doing. I wish I had more.
Seconded. Taking yourself out of the moment to take photos gets a bad rap, but do it.
Not to share on social media now, but to build a memory bank for later.
Move to a country/location/environment where you can actually achieve your goals/dreams ASAP. Location is the number 1 determining factor imo. This is step zero, nothing happens without this.
Build a lean, aesthetic physique (assuming you're a guy). Workout and stay healthy.
Get skills ASAP. Stack as many real tangible skills as you can. Skills will pay your bills and will be the foundation of your career.
If you have it, do NOT take your geographical luck for granted please.
Ultimately, threaded discussions with upvote-based sorting are the death of meaningful conversation.
https://web.archive.org/web/20211228110510/kk.org/thetechniu...
You have the budget and growing maturity to experience things a 20 year old backpacker can’t, and the body, freedom, and tolerance for discomfort for experiences that won’t happen if you wait until you’re 40 or have kids.
It’s a waste to only allow week-long sugar hit breaks from work over the next decade to experience it. Decide now when you’ll take six to twelve months to travel without working.
Note: for a woman except of the above you should keep some breath, time, effort and preparation to create a family. For a man, it will be woke up for you from one of your girlfriends.
You don't pay taxes on that money -- but also, since you're young, you can let it sit there earning interest. It'll double in value roughly every 10 years, so if you start with, say, $8,000, it'll be $128,000 by the time you're 65. (And you can also tap the money for medical emergencies or college expenses.)
I'm pretty sure you do--now, or later.
If you live, you just might learn that Lord Ganesha can really sock some sense into you.
And cents as well, if you’ve really pissed her off.
Single most important lesson of my life: elephants are not vending machines.
There's a lot of things you can only do when you're physically young.
Get them done now, while you can, because it will go away.
If you don’t completely destroy the joints, heart, kidney, liver, and lungs when your mind is young and stupid the much wiser and (hopefully) smarter mind you’ll earn can push the slightly more knackered bits further and faster then you’d earlier have thought you could go.
Read books.
Brush your teeth.
Become a better person.
2. Don't go to court in your head about others (especially your partner). Deal with issues in the real world. Really try to not get to in your head about anything. But definitely don't go to court in your head. Tangential: The tally won't always come out in your favor. Figure out how to not resent that. Especially as you get to points like 'the honeymoon hangover', the seven year itch, that 10-15 year place that can feel so indifferent, roommate like. If they routinely f up on doing the dishes, but are good everywhere else, you WON THE F'ing lottery, so don't get hung up on the friggen dishes. Your going to do them, and it's actually ok and not a big deal.
3. If you have to tell yourself you deserve it/it's just a treat/just an escape/whatever, leave 'it' be/behind!
4. Take extra care of your teeth.
5. Skin cancer is real and 40-50 year old you is going to still want to live and have all their body parts (such as a nose/ears) and minimal facial scars.
6. Money isn't everything, but having enough prevents a LOT (majority) of problems/stresses those that don't have it have. If you choose money, you can choose something else later. If you don't choose money you are most likely hit for the rest of the ride and are picking hard mode.
7. If you are going to play the game, play the game. If you aren't, figure something else out because again you are choosing life on hard mode. We are a society of monkeys. Life is way easier if you play the game. Don't chose 'not to play' because of others or because others you know aren't playing, especially if you run in a crowd of people who 'don't play the game'. They unlike you might have fallbacks, or might just not give a shit if they ruin their lives, or if it's a partner just have unrealistic expectations that you can somehow magically live as if 'you played the game' later on (you most likely can't). If you partner doesn't want to play the game in their 20-30, they are most likely going to want to play from 40 on, and if you can't somehow win at that point they are going to blame you. It's way easier to play the game, even if you have to tell yourself you are playing it ironically or some meta shit.
8. There's a reason why everyone says it, kids grow up really really quick. When you are in it, it seems overwhelming and like you have been forever with the stresses, but it goes really really quick. There will be a last time you read them a book goodnight. A last time you tuck them in. A last time you pick them up. A final hug. A final goodbye. You are going to leave them all alone in a fucked up world world in the end, try to do right by them while you can. Plus the memories they give you are going to sustain you through your life so make them good ones (remember that good memories for a kid could be that one time you make weird 1960s jello together, something that costs $1 and is that simple just might be a lifetime memory for them. For me there used to be stuffed croissant place in Capitola. We couldn't really afford them, but my mom knew when to get there to get day old ones half price. I felt like we were royalty when we ate a day old chocolate or ham and cheese croissant, in fact it was way more special than the extravagant meals we later ate when she had money).
9. As I get older and slowly turn invisible I've learned life is way different when you are attractive. Get as fit as you can. Groom yourself well. Wear clothes that fit. Get a haircut picked to flatter your face. Also a flattering haircut > a trendy one (unless you are amazingly attractive. An attractive woman can pull of being bald, but most of us especially men can benefit from a little help). If you are male and are playing the game, a nice watch is worth it. If you have no budget get something used and classic that will last. I have many life changing interactions where having really nice shoes/a nice watch made a difference. It's horrific and shallow and just the way the world works. If you are going to play the game, play the freaking game. Don't get 'trendy'. Like the haircut, get classic nice. Unless you have money to constantly replace 'trendy'.
10. Don't lie. You will get trapped telling more and more. It will come back on you. Just don't lie.
11. Find things to look forward to. It can be life events, vacations, a nice meal on Friday, whatever, but you NEED things to look forward to. Even now when I have nothing, I hype to myself shows/books coming out to look forward to.
12. The dead parents club is a thing. If you had a relationship with them you never get over your parents dying.
13. At some point, unless you die young, will be disabled in some way. Appreciate/exploit the health you currently have. Take advantage of it. It will go away. Have compassion for people who aren't so lucky.
14. Ignore the 'I'd rather enjoy life than live forever' bullshit. My dad preached that. And he's still alive. But my mom, whom he influenced? She died way way to early, very very painfully from cancer. Live life, but see point 3. If you are justifying then maybe slow down/cut it out/pull back a bit. But do live. I bought a boat when my kids were little. On credit. Because if I waited until it financially made sense, my kids would have already have moved half way across the world. But I KNEW it was insanely stupid and came at a pretty big cost. But the reward was worth it on a much higher level (to me) than 'i'm going to smoke, drink, and eat steaks every day'.
15. Be kind. Be especially kind to those that have a hard go of it.
16. If find yourself buying lottery tickets/getting road rage, you need to figure out what you need to adjust/change in your life.
Everything else you will lose if the economy turns against you.
Also, a bit ironically don’t trust HN advice so easily. I feel for a lot of advice that was common on this site a decade ago that turned out to be utter bullshit.
while (alive)
{
If (You are truly passionate about some hobbies or career paths)
{
do_not_marry_and_especially_don't_get_kid();
}
else
{
focus_on_making_as_much_$$$_as_possible();
}
}As far as stacking cash is concerned, I totally agree!
I just think the time and energy anyone owns is a very limited amount, so if you are really really passionate about something that is not family or kid, I just can’t see the logical argument that you want a big chunk of that time and energy taken away by something else.
But you do what you want to do.
I only fulfill my own end of the bargain — honestly give my advice.