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I'm trying to remember the phrase. Something like, "there is nothing as vicious as low stakes fights."

Trying that on Google gets me https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sayre%27s_law. Is about right. :D

It's like bike shedding. It's a side effect of mixed expertise (and confidence) working together on things that are only partially understood by all. When something is clearly outside one's expertise, they are content to leave it to others. But then you'll get minor questions with low stakes like "what color to paint the shed". And how everyone feels like they can participate, so suddenly there's a huge discussion / debate / argument about a very, very minor thing.

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