GrapheneOS has been rock solid for me for several years now. Just pick any Pixel device. As for software, there are alternatives to everything you can find on the Play Store, assuming you're not reliant on a specific Google product. GOS has robust support for sandboxed Play services that work without Google, though I personally haven't used it. Even banking apps work without an issue for me, though YMMV.

I'm considering abandoning Android altogether in favor of a proper Linux device, but GOS is what makes Android usable for me.