I also think the private DMs might be hosted externally to ATProto because that is all meant to be public information or something.
I would assume that the age verification is built at the app layer, so you could use an alternative app (I think they call them AppViews?) to get around the age verification thing. Don't know if alternatives really exist today though, there are probably some.
You can migrate your PDS (data server) away from bluesky's servers to another host, and as of a few days ago you can migrate back. (only if you initially signed up to bluesky, not if you started off self-hosting)
The following gist is good to glean how the age-verification system works: https://gist.github.com/mary-ext/6e27b24a83838202908808ad528...
I don't use it for that reason. I do use nostr, Mastodon and Lemmy
I don't think that matters in this context where the rules apply regardless of decentralization. However, I believe that you can in fact just use the protocol without any of the "age verification" nonsense the UK government has imposed on us.
Bluesky's apps have the verification, but everything else using the protocol can just not implement it.
The smarter thing is the thing we already have with email (and that Mastodon can do) -- you have to place trust somewhere, so do it with whatever decentralized server you choose. I get that it's not robust -- or more specifically you DO have to trust whoever's running the server -- but that's better that the now obvious goofy centralization that Bluesky is now subject to.
From what I understand from BlueSky is that personal PDS can host accounts and content but the network depends on big hubs like the main bluesky instance. It almost feels more like a convenient cost cutting strategy from the company behind BlueSky than actual decentralization. Correct me if I'm wrong.
This sounds worse than Mastodon. As for Nostr is more of a one to many system where a user would sign a message and post it to a bunch of relays where it can be fetched all while said message itself contains hints where to find it.
But on Nostr you can build a social app that uses only your relays and your relays can reject anything from everyone else