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Comment by nostromo | Hacker News Reader

So, do all the things!

It's generally good advice; but like lots of good advice, it's too simplistic. In order to do anything, you have to not do infinite other things, things you may regret not doing.

And the story itself is an odd one. If that rafter had actually died, the survivors and his family would likely have regrets about the trip.

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I think the key is to do the things you want to do but are afraid of doing.

Personally, I'm pretty sure I'm not going to regret not going on an around the world cruise, because I hate cruising, and have no interest whatsoever in doing it at all.

I will regret not getting my pilot's license, because it's something I wanted to do since I was like, 5 years old. So, I'm working towards doing it.

When we were children, we all had dreams of the things we could do when we grew up. As we get older, our dreams change, but all to often this change is a result not of us not wanting to do these things, but because we tell ourselves we can't do these things.

That's what we regret. Do those things.

> do the things you want to do but are afraid of doing.

Perhaps this advice works best with people who have no self-destructive desires. For those of us who are merely human, though, we have to compromise.

Compromise is pretty much exactly the thing you shouldn't do.

Is there something you really, really want to do that falls into this category?

Yeah. Lots of things. I'm a complicated person full of contradictions, foibles, and flaws. For every door I open, another one closes. There's no way to do everything I want. So I follow the path that I think will lead to greatest long-term happiness, even if, in the short-term, I have to make sacrifices.

Exactly. We are not machines and we can't program ourselves even if the mass media and the motivationnal websites and that under 24 startup guy who built a webpage would like you to believe it.

When I was a child my dreams were far simpler than pilot's licenses and such (although what kid doesn't want to be a fighter pilot one day? Especially if Top Gun just came on the telly when they were ~5) ... all I've ever wanted was having frivolous amounts of money. The kind of money where I could buy fancy sports cars without batting an eyelid.

What do I do to follow those dreams?

Oh and I've always wanted to swim in a sea of gold coins just like that duck ... but I don't think that's physically possible. At least not on Earth.

Reductio ad absurdum, but nevertheless...

If you really want to be rich, this is a trivial problem. Learn how to be a stock broker, and work your ass off. Problem solved. I'd suggest that if this truly is a goal of yours, you apply yourself to achieving it. My guess is that there are other things that you actually want more. Accumulating money is probably one of the easier goals in life to achieve, really.

Most people place wealth somewhere down the list however.

It's trivial to become rich? Good one. #RomneyEncore

Average stock broker salary, $55k per annum. http://www1.salary.com/stock-broker-Salary.html

> I'd suggest that if this truly is a goal of yours, you apply yourself to achieving it. My guess is that there are other things that you actually want more. Accumulating money is probably one of the easier goals in life to achieve, really.

The American "You can do/get anything if you really want it" reality distortion field effect with its corrolary "if you didn't get it it's because you didn't really want it".

And here we all move on to the next personnal development website with Mr Moustache and the Pavlinians at the helm. What an emotionnal bumpy ride.

The easiest way to get rich is to be born rich.

The second easiest is to be born lucky.

After that, it's a lot of work.

That's an easy one to answer, especially around these parts. Come up with a business idea and take a shot at a startup company. Best case, you'll hit the jackpot. Worst case, it'll be a hell of a ride and you'll come out with a better idea of what you're doing.

so how about things like this: I am married but I meet another woman who I cannot help falling love with. Shall I continue hang out with her, or stop seeing her(which I will probably regret)

One should always evaluate his emotions with a great amount of care. Be clear that I'm not suggesting in the least that a person should live 110% in the moment all the time; in fact the opposite.

That said, I'm not sure why a person would live the rest of their life with someone they don't love out of some sort of imagined duty. You certainly aren't doing yourself any favours, and odds are you are making your wife miserable too.

If you have truly found someone that you "cannot help falling in love with", then why wouldn't you be with her?

You're willfully sanitizing the anecdotal/hypothetical question.

Imagine he loves his wife but is also falling in love with another ... Only he is afraid to pursue.

Should he pursue or not? If not, why not? Is his sky-diving hobby any less "destructive" than his philandering?

Ah ... like the blind Colonel once quipped: "when in doubt, fuck."

You are married, but you did not say if you are in an open relationship ;)

It is not indisputable that 5-years old should dictate what an adult should do.

My advice is to not regret having regrets. It's natural to have regrets so jumping to acceptance is the best method to avoid the self-help dependency cycle that leads to a lot of wasted time and money. At least it works for me.

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