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One thing I had to learn is that clear is kind and unclear is unkind. If your unstated expectations are unmet, it's on you. I used to be like the "she" in your story, and I realised this behaviour is manipulative and rarely gets me what I want.

> Some people will take "no" as a rejection.

People say "no" because they mean "no", and people accept "no" as meaning "no". This is how adults communicate. I don't think you can both-sides this situation.

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But is it "No, I can't come." or "No, I don't like these things."

If you're the one declining the invite, the onus is on you to clarify which it is, not for the initiator to guess your intentions. In my life, I usually decline with "That doesn't work for me, but how about ${ALTERNATIVE_PLAN}?" It signals that the invitation is welcome, but doesn't work for practical reasons, so I'll return the kindness by proposing something else and leaving the other person in a clear and actionable position.

As the parent comment said, clarity is kindness. If you're leaving people guessing, then you're being very unkind.

Or maybe you intentionally didn't wanted the other to guess, but accept that you don't want to clarify.

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