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This looks pretty but it's very confusing and I have no idea what it wants from me. It says 'click here!' so I did but nothing came of it.

Yep, that's a bit bad UX. You're supposed to click on what the "Click here!" bubble points to, not on the bubble itself.

You don't click on 'click here' but the 't' nearby (which i noticed renders off screen on my phone but not on my computer).