Ask HN: What to do when all you want to do is make software, but hating it?

Over the last 5 years, I had a million ideas of software I wanted to create. About 3 years of it was spent on trying to create some super abstract non sense that started off being about building light shows and turned into something akin to trying to build a mathematical model for human thought. I sometimes think I should write about it, for the amusement of it, if nothing else, but Im so mentally tired of thinking about that project I can't get past a few words.

Even now there's 3-4 projects I want to work on. When I have free time, its where my mind goes.

Its pretty obvious I need some other sources of joy in my life, and used to have so many but now nothing is really gripping me.

I really wanted to quit my job and go back to school to study as I enjoy academics, but I can't justify it financially.

Im not sure what Im looking to here, and I don't usually ask for life advice, on HN of all places, but I am at a loss.