This study is almost like an intentional parody of people who miss the forest for the trees: "lead poisoning a leading cause of death in gunshot victims!"
MDMA in my opinion produces "happy-lovey-drunk+" and it seems from friends it produces that effect even for people who are sad drunks. It does come with a crash but it's about the same as a hangover. And ice cold water tastes amazing rather than having to force it down.
Ketamine (at low doses, too much and you'll stare off into space) also produces a drunk like effect. You'll feel euphoric, blurry vision, loss of motor control. It feels tipsy-ish. The biggest pro is that there's no crash, your high just kinda ends.
That said, as long as you aren't consuming regularly in excess, even the alcohol isn't going to affect your lifespan. It just goes to illustrate the relative levels of absurdity involved here.
Here's the study map: https://pubs.acs.org/cms/10.1021/acs.est.4c11265/asset/image...
And here's the 2024 presidential election map: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/f7/El...
I feel it's needless to say that's not actual advice.. but well, better safe than sorry lol.
EDIT: I mean, of all the health reasons not to drink beer.. PFAS is _probably_ not the main one to worry about? I'm not a doctor, but it seems there's already enough known adverse effects that this additional piece of information is probably not a dealbreaker for those who drink?