Careful posting systemd satire here, there is a high likelihood that your comment becomes the reason this feature gets built and PRed by someone bored enough to also read HN comment section.
[Unit]
Description=Whatever
[Service]
ExecStart=/usr/local/bin/cantDoHttpSvc -bind 0.0.0.0:1234
[HTTP]
Domain=https://whatever.net
Endpoint=127.1:1234
Yeah this could happen one day