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Or... you just register with Google and sign things using your own keys to authorize them before sideloading. Or setup an LLC or whatever and register that entity with Google or whatever.

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That’s already annoying and the same process as ios currently

iOS requires XCode (only available on MacOS computers) so that's at least one difference

Nobody is going to setup LLC to sideload shii.

Well not to sideload generally but if someone wanted to distribute an app "anonymously" wrt what the public sees.

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