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Comment by dundercoder | Hacker News Reader

We read to them from the time they were born. Simple stories and picture books at first. I think exposure is key, but I’ve also found that kids learn way more with what they observe than what they are told to do. So they see mom and dad reading is going to have a much larger effect than just telling them to read. We take them to the local library and let them pick whatever books they want to try. One of ours took a long time to ever find anything, then discovered he loved dragons, so for a year he devoured any dragon book. Even graphic novels, which I had thought “Isn’t my 12 year old to old for these?” Primed the pump and she’ll go through 2-3 chapter books per week.

We also made age appropriate audiobooks available to them and all 4 adore listening. Congrats on your baby! I’ve never been more exhausted in my life but I’m loving it.

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> any dragon book

Here are "a few", if still in that phase https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dragonriders_of_Pern

In the context of kids, note that those books essentially legalize rape by saying the humans telepathically connected to the dragons mating just have to also do the deed.

Maybe go through them yourself first to decide when is appropriate, and talk about how compilations of old thoughts can be good and bad at the same time.

100%. Imho, parents should generally at least skim books before giving them to younger children, if only to know what topics their child might ask about after reading.

As a YA author at a recent con panel put it: "I let my kids read any book they want, but I describe the themes. Sometimes, they decide they might not be ready for specific topics"

Help kids censor for themselves, if they choose. (Personally, less-so on censoring for them, especially books)

I'm thinking less censorship and more understanding of when starting to think about something is appropriate, how to build a healthy worldview, and how to communicate about uncomfortable things. Like, A Song of Ice and Fire is a great world with captivating storytelling where some nasty things happen, and its characters can sometimes be "bad people", and that's part of the story! It's fine that books also portray things that are not just happy endings. GRRM is a good enough writer to make that improve the story.

(The author of Dragonriders of Pern, unfortunately, is not a good enough writer that her addition of certain topics into the books could be said to improve the books. I'll leave you with <https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Tent_Peg_Statement>. It's still a fun series, even if the author is not someone I'd invite for dinner!)

Unilaterally deciding as an adult "when" is censorship.

A big discussion point in the panel, which I agree with, is that kids will move on to more mature themes when they're ready (and not before).

Retarding that development process by deciding what is and isn't age appropriate for them (a) breaks down trust and communication and (b) substantially raises the risk of their doing so secretly, which increases the very risk you're trying to prevent.

We may have had different childhoods, but no bans my parents put in place that I felt strongly about weren't circumvented.

My philosophy on parenting is that you should support and be involved in your child's development, at the pace they choose, not plan and meter it.

I think you're projecting your own background into my words. Adjust your bias from "parental decision to censor" to "things to think about and discuss" and re-read.

>> more understanding of when starting to think about something is appropriate

What did you intend to be the consequences of appropriate vs inappropriate in the above?

It's a synonym of "suitable" or "fitting". I don't really understand what you're asking. Are you expecting me to lay down some strict rules that people under the age of X must not be exposed to topic Y? I'm not American/religious enough for that kind of thinking.

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