I want to be left alone (2024)
blog.ctms.me
blog.ctms.me
Installed, logged in for the first time and got the ‘welcome to KDE’ screen, dismissed it and then… nothing.
Every time I log in… nothing.
It just sits there waiting for me to do something. It doesn’t tell me to do anything. I’ve been mostly using it to play Civ2.
Open your laptop, dismiss ubuntu wanting to update stuff; open firefox and have your adblock extension popup to tell you how many ads it blocked and to give you a helpful advertisement for updating your adblock; open a web page, any webpage, dismiss at least 3 popups for cookies, decline to signin in google/facebook, decline the newsletter. Get another browser extension to solve these problems, it will probably have pop-ups to tell you about "what's new". Open github to look at some code, get asked to star the project above the fold in the documentation. Forget what you even wanted to do with a laptop, close it, dive into much more productive work by figuring out the best way to feed your laptop into the kitchen garbage disposal in small pieces. Just another Tuesday
Modern software tries to invert this control loop and make you the tool. Pop up a message to remind you to use their software. Automatically pick the next item in your social feed to convince your hind brain to spend more time in their app. Convince you to turn on location services to see the weather in your current location, and then use it to track all of your movements. AI is bound to do even more of this, where it tells you in various ways how to live your life.
I don’t quite know the solution, because software that influences the user has better survival characteristics than tool software, but it feels like things are starting to come to a head where people are feeling overwhelmed by their phones’ constant demands.
Don't you see that the "make money" is the actual problem?
While the margins and revenue are lower on durable + repair vs. planned obsolescence, the owner can sleep better at night knowing they've morally served their fellow human and not unduly destroyed the economy and the environment.
Money is a store of value. Even under communism, in POW camps, and in primate groups, trade occurs behind the scenes with unofficial currency. It's simply too strong of an idea and too engrained to wave our hands that money shouldn't exist. Whether we do it by cumbersome IOU notes or have a generalized and widely accepted interface doesn't make a difference.
But if you want to argue that regressive taxation is bad, I'm on board.
They want me to do something that serves their purpose and not mine.
No, I want to be left alone.
The pervasiveness of “I only want to interact with others on my terms” is one of the most alienating parts of humanity
I think it’s a common feeling which tells you something about the absurdity of the human condition
We've created such a shithole, a perfect mirror of society I guess.
I wonder if we can say the same about our streets (billboards, neon signs, etc etc) compared to, say, streets 200 years ago?
https://www.billboardsin.com/states-where-billboards-are-ban...
1. Prohibiting large signs that can be seen from far away
2. No stores over 2 stories tall
3. No big box / chains stores
And wow, those places are magical!
It's all locally owned business.
However obnoxious it might look, today's streetscape pollution lacks the odor, flies, and infectious disease hazards of yesteryear.
Honestly software is almost infuriating to me on a daily basis to me nowadays, I don't know if I'm just curmudgeonly or if software just sucks now but I want everything to just get out of my way when I'm trying to do something.
I guess you could say I want to be left alone...
Remember when cars started beeping until you put on your seat belt?
I'd highly recommend doing the scheduled maintenance on your car. Whether at a dealer, at your trusted shop, or on your own. For your own safety and those around you.
Even things like washing machines and coffee makers will soft-brick themselves these days asking you to "start self clean-cycle with Foo(tm) substance" and then won't perform their function without some kind of forced reset. That part of the airplane ride where the PA is blasting some kind of "join our miles club" literally at a captive audience with no choice but to listen? It's not safety related either. My headphones that I would like to use to drown out the PA advertisement literally stop working if they detect speech, and the only way to disable this "feature" is to download their app.
This is just growth-hacking "zero-cost advertisements to a targeted audience" stuff that's extremely disrespectful at best, and kinda looks like it's edging closer to threats and extortion.
It's the maintenance reminder notification on a couple ton metal machine with lots of critical moving parts meant to operate next to pedestrians, cyclists, and other vehicles in public spaces. The maintenance schedule usually is related to safety and good operating of the car over time. Things wear out and should be inspected, serviced, and replaced over time. Should I just be OK with people ignoring the maintenance schedule? Should I be OK with the airline ignoring routine maintenance as well? The transit operator ignoring the maintenance on their trains?
I don't think it's unreasonable to require people to keep to maintenance schedules if they want to operate such machines in public spaces. It's a mistake for these states to relax inspection requirements. I don't mind a notification bugging an owner refusing to do the maintenance on their car. It probably pushed a lot of people to do it who would have otherwise forgotten.
I'm arguing that we should have the right to reliably separated channels for safety/operational notifications vs commercial content / outright scams. We don't have that though, which effectively erodes the safety you are saying you want to protect. If you're serious about safety, you should agree that using airplane PAs for emergencies instead of ads is a good idea. You should also be onboard with the idea that "service required" should actually mean "service required", not just that it's time to pay what amounts to a subscription fee to the vendor. Once a signal has degraded into pure noise, people get used to ignoring it.
The situation is mostly the same with software updates.. no way for end-users to reliably separate updates that help them vs ones that are only going to hurt them. Serious about security? Don't get too comfortable blasting your users with immaterial "news and updates" trash, or of course they want to ignore you
Yes, that was ... this morning? I guess now that I think about it, maybe it does stop after a moment. Though if I start moving, it definitely starts beeping again.
No maintenance for 200K miles though, so I'm hoping to avoid any messages about bringing it in. I'll find the magic keys to turn that off if I must.
that's cuz the mechanic knows what buttons to push to reset it. the instructions are probably online, and easy.
They took the cheerful and effortless order experience and turned it into filing taxes .
There are just so many fewer distraction events coming from the damn device. It's almost peaceful. I can forget that it's there and get on with the things I want to, or should be, doing. I've also had mini-rants before about the unimportance of email communication; having notifications about the receipt of an email is as useful as a reminder to breathe (with some edge cases that if you set things up correctly, can be managed). Email, SMS, chat apps aren't real-time communications. If it's important I'll get a phone call - and only my chosen contacts cause the device to make a sound.
(This isn't about GrapheneOS, it's about choosing sanity at the time the initial choice is requested after having the experience to know what I want and what I don't. But GrapheneOS is great, for separate reasons).
If businesses need to make an effort towards marketing, it follows that counterparties will need to make an effort to block out that marketing if they do not want it. And the more aggressive marketing I get, the more aggressive I become about blocking it:
- giving more or all my business to companies who do leave me alone
- throwaway / hide-my emails
- unsubscribing, or even better, marking as spam
- not downloading unnecessary apps, and turning notifications off for most of them
- complaints to telecom operator for spam calls and messages (government has actually started taking strict action against these recently)
- complaints for bad behavior, in very public platforms
- actively making sure to delete accounts when no longer needed
Companies spend real money to reach me. So I return the favor and spend some time to ensure that I throw them off my lawn.
No one reading the piece in the first place wants to be left alone. If you wanted that, you wouldn't say to yourself "I wonder what this guy has to say" and then click his thing.
I read and leave comments on Hacker News for two reasons: I want to know I'm not alone, I want to be helpful.
"Leave me alone" is different from "I want to be left alone." The second implies you want to be left alone by everyone.
(And actually when the doctor sends an email confirmation that the appointment was booked, the phone offers to put it in the calendar automagically)
> Do you want to go ad free? No, I want to be left alone.
The ads, by definition, won't leave you alone.
And all of the measures that the article is complaining about do help with usability metrics - especially when measured in a fake corporate study.
It's much harder to consider the role we want technology to play holistically as a part of an entire life.
I do want the government to continue maintaining my road and the network it connects to.
I do want the government to respond quickly when a water main breaks on Sunday morning.
I do want the government to maintain their fleet of emergency service vehicles.
I've lived in countries where these things don't happen, and no one there was happy about being left alone. I normally only see this sentiment from people who have never lived in places with truly dysfunctional government.
If you want to truly be left alone by the government there are places you can go to be where the government will not concern itself with you in any practical way (in the US if that's where you are, or internationally if that's more your flavor). What you will discover is that it turns out that it is very difficult to live in a place where you have to manage all of your own infrastructure and services.
Do you want grants for research or the arts? No, I want to be left alone.
Do you want a landlord-tenant board who will protect your apartment from being turned into a pig sty? No, I want to be left alone.
Do you want universal health insurance that scales with your income bracket? No, I want to be left alone.
Do you want people to come put out your house if it catches fire? No, I want to be left alone?
When I encounter this sentiment it is almost always from someone that has never lived in a country with a dysfunctional government.
Despite all of the well publicized and fair criticisms of governance in the US, you still live in a place where you can - for one of many examples - count on the water being safe to drink in 99% of circumstances (I grew up in Lima, where not only was the water unsafe to drink, it frequently just wasn't on. Every house had a backup water tank. That's the level of service in a good neighborhood in the Capitol).
Go spend some time outside the US in a non tourist area, in a developing country. The level of functionality when you come back to the US will be a palpable relief.
(I'm not talking about ICE or Republicans.)
And the government is all: "You wanted to be left alone."
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Everything this guy complains about is to some degree how the entity they are interacting with pays their bills. If he hates it so much, maybe he should leave.
But they bought my info, and so now USPS is delivering this trash into "my" mailbox (my mom texts, opens it, scans it, etc). I will NEVER buy anything from a flyer.
So I'm going to idle, every working hour next week, on the phone with Liberty Mutual sales staff. If they can harass me and waste my time, why can't I do it right back?
It's like last year when 3 different airlines opted me into text alerts. I was already getting them in-app and in-email.
Honestly I think people are so absent minded, distracted, ADHD-Y that they don't even realize how intrusive and annoying this deluge of consumerist capitalist sludge is to your mental state. Of course people also think I'm crazy when I tell them my phone stays in DND mode.
Damn I was so stupid and weak to NOT stay alone.
Wrong answer!
"I already have one!"
Instant pitch snuffer-outer.
You literally pay a premium to be bothered less than the alternatives.
When you first boot your mac your dock is cluttered by Apple Apps I never use.
Got regular prompts to use Apple Intelligence.
Everytime I do a major update I get notifications for the new features, and if I don't do their onboarding they keep coming back.
Popups "do you want to update now or this night"
It's crazy because 10 years ago it was windows and android doing thoses things, now even iOS is a mess of user experience. Now it's cluttered by features added years over years that haven't been thought as whole, neither ergonomic or intuitive whereas the Google pixel experience is pretty minimalist in comparison (and from the maker of google ads and YouTube I still have a hard time believing it).
Windows 11 I opted out of their cortana/copilot/edge at launch they never bothered since. I never get any prompts to try new features. Even the updates are well managed, you don't get any notification it's a choice on the power down menu.
Though Windows 11 on a cheap computer can be loaded with tons of crap theses days.
No I don’t want to confirm it. I want to show up and have you ready , like you’re supposed to
I think because flaking/bailing has become so common people this is expected now. Maybe with appointments this carries over, although I'm sure with high cancellation fees and strict policies they can mitigate a bit.
Me: Yes please
Mumble: "I'm sorry, that time is not available, can we find you another time that would suit"
Me: Why you little....
:)
Even if you're not religious or spiritual (which I would bet the author isn't), at the very least the natural process of evolution seems to value the idea of community and togetherness, so shunning it seems a bit shortsighted.
> Do you need help with self-checkout? No, I want to be left alone.
> Do you want to leave a tip? No, I want to be left alone.
> Do you want to round-up? No, I want to be left alone.
> Do you want to leave a review? No, I want to be left alone.
It's extremely obvious the guy has never worked as a barista, bartender, waiter, or salesperson, because I've dealt with people like this in real life and it's as exhausting as his post.
What does "turn on notifications" have to do with service workers? What does "give us your phone number to get a coupon" have to do with service workers? What does "subscribe to our newsletter" have to do with service workers? What does "sign up for our credit card" have to do with service workers? It just sounds like you have an axe to grind and picked this article to do it.
An axe to grind? I'm just commenting on the article, my guy. It seemed a bit misanthropic and gave my reasoning. Literally all of those things are occasionally useful to people and are commonly known as "customer service."
Have you seriously never used a coupon you got via text? Have you never signed up for a credit card deal? I mean, some stuff I get (time share deals or annoying notifications or whatever), but agreeing to a terms of service has got you all up in arms? Really?
Look at a normal person’s email inbox sometime.
Most people use default settings and are barely even aware that it’s configurable. They just put the info in the boxes until it stopped giving red exclamation marks and smashed the big button at the bottom without reading the field labels, the checkbox labels, or even the big button label.
Users don’t read, and most people aren’t as busy as us. They spend 3 hours a day watching television, a few more playing video games, have never heard the term “inbox zero”, and don’t know any of the steps to make that red bubble that says “65,535” on the gmail icon go away.